Ace Audio: The Songs from "My Little Pony: The Movie" (2017)

Woah, been way too long since I done one of these. Yeah, this blog has been on hiatus for a while, I felt as though I was working to much at this and needed some time off. Of course, in the mean time I have still been writing my Creepypasta reviews on DeviantArt, and have started some cartoon reviews on my YouTube channel, links will be at the end.

So anyway, the My Little Pony movie has been released and I gotta say, it was awesome! If you have kids, are a fan of MLP or just love 2D animation, watch it now! It isn't perfect and it's not for everyone, but their is way too much about the movie that I loved, not the least of which is the soundtrack.

Now I've done one of these kinds of reviews before, only instead of looking at a feature length film, I looked at Dorbees, but thankfully, this one won't be so bad as, even though the soundtrack has thirteen songs, the film itself only has about six before the credits, so I'll talk about them.

Now, I think the only way I can properly talk about these songs is by going through them from my least favourite, to my favourite, and I will say right now that my least favourite song is only that because of plot reasons.

This song is really cheerful and goes to show why Pinkie Pie is one of the best characters in the series. The song itself has nice instrumentals, they don't sound like The Little Mermaid calypso, but they do have a similar feel, even without looking at the clip I can tell that this song takes place under the sea. I also really like the message of this song, one small thing can have a large impact, so I still think this is a pretty good song. The problem of it lies within the movie itself, and honestly, the whole underwater scene may be my least favourite scene of the movie.

Really, all this song is, is a distraction, literally. Twilight uses this song as a distraction to steal a magical object, and that was a major distraction for me throughout the song sequence. I didn't feel like smiling alongside Pinkie and the others, I felt like hiding my head in preparation for the awkward moment where Twilight gets caught. I still think the song is good, but it's not my overall favourite.

Now this song is, okay. This song reveals the villain's backstory and basically just exists so the villain can say "Friendship is stupid, I am evil!". Lyrically this song struggles for that reason, it's the villain taunting Twilight and basically being the antithesis of the entire moral of the movie and show. So, what keeps this one from being my least favourite? That backing score, oh sweet Luna, the only reason this song isn't my least favourite is just because of that backing score, it just oozes evil. Something about orchestral music can really emphasize the mood of any given scene, which is probably why my favourite instrumental piece is an orchestral track. The song is okay, but the instrumental score is amazing.

So, this song literally came out of nowhere. This track is also fairly forgettable. It starts off a bit slow and kind of dull honestly, but this song does indeed pick up. The instrumentals that kick in once the song picks up are also kind of nice, kind of giving off a sort of Mexican sound with the acoustic guitar. All in all, this isn't a bad song by any means, but nothing is really the memorable about it, not even in a negative way.

This is the opening song and I do have to say, under most circumstances, this would have been my least favourite song in the movie. It sounds like it came from the show, which is not a bad thing, the show does have some good songs, but I don't think they are really amazing. However, a bit of that may have actually worked in this songs favour as not only did it really get into the spirit of the MLP world, but it also shows off the incredible talents of the main character's voices. I honestly also like the chorus singing "We got this", it jut sounds so, happy and celebratory, which makes sense as they are setting up a celebration. It serves as a good contrast to the rest of the film.

Also, this doesn't add anything to the song, but there were a lot of cameos in this sequence, from loved characters like Cheese Sandwich, to worst pony ever, Trixie.

Yeah this one is also pretty great. I do kind of like the beat to this one, the drumming is nice and solid, to the point they actually had to animate it in the film. I do kind of have a pet peeve with the lyrics, I don't know, "awesome" always seemed like one of those lingo words that would become outdated, you know similar to "Radical" or "Tubular". Although I do have to say this song just sounds awesome, and really does pick up towards the late-middle. Probably the first song I actually really liked in the film, although, like this review, the best song was save for last.

It is funny because I am not a Sia fan, but I would be lying if I said that this song didn't get stuck in my head. Especially that chorus, oh man I will be humming that chorus for a good long while now. This song is energized, and Sia definitely sounds really good. It's strange that my favourite song in the movie is the pop song instead of any of the orchestral backed songs, but you know, this song is amazing. It's just a burst of joy by the movie's end and it is, without any doubt, my favourite song in the movie.

And that's not all, the background music at some scenes was pretty good too, but as I can't find footage of them, and I'm just lazy, you're either going to have to see the movie, or trust me on that fact alone.

So yeah, I enjoyed these songs, even the ones that had some serious flaws I don't think I'll mind putting on every now and again. While I doubt that these songs will really hole the attention of anyone who isn't in the right mood for songs from My Little Pony, if you give them a chance, I think you'll enjoy them. I'm the Entity of Darkness, Fare-thee-well!

Oh yeah, before I forget:
Link to my DeviantArt: https://fanis01.deviantart.com/
And YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSIOHCz8-YLW-9a1tIqa-TQ?view_as=subscriber

Auditory Abominations: "Ocean Avenue" - Yellowcard

Goodie, I get to talk about pop punk again. Despite how often the genre gets a bad rap, I honestly don't hate this genre, I like Blink-182, I don't mind Fall Out Boy, I don't hate songs like "The Middle" or "Sk8r Boi", so why does this genre get such hate? Well, because this is one of those "Play it safe" genres, those kind of genres that get you guaranteed success, but aren't really anything challenging, and being honest, nothing really memorable either. You know all those videos that are like "The 2000s summed up in one video" or "These song clips will bring back memories"? Those are filled with nu metal, rap metal, pop punk and the like because those genres plagued the early 2000s, you could not escape the mega giants of Good Charlotte or Limp Bizkit, I assume, I never listened to the radio as a kid because, why would I when I could turn on the TV and watch SpongeBob?

Anyway, most of the pop punk stuff has, done the barest of bare minimums, it showed up, people heard it, people liked it and now people hear it and go "Hey I remember that song!" and then go on to listen to whatever they were listening to before. This is the kind of song someone plays to poke fun of the 2000s, a pop punk "Play it safe" band that nobody outside of the teenagers actually liked, and the only reason they liked it was because it was played on every station at every hour. This is why I listen to Alt. Rock stations!

But why am I looking at this song in particular? Aren't there other worse pop punk songs I could look at? Yes, but this one is sticking out in my mind currently and I want to send this genre off with a swift kick goodbye, unless I decide to look at Good Charlotte.

The opening riff is short, I'll give it that, it wants to get to the song as quickly as possible, but it doesn't sound good, or talented at all. I hear the opening bit and it sounds like a warm-up, and not in the same way "Sweet Child O' Mine" was a warm up for Slash, more like a warm up for someone who hasn't played guitar before.

The largest problem with these "Play it safe" genres is that they really do sound all the same. Ryan Key sounds like most other pop punk frontmen, maybe a bit less nasally, but in general still the same. It also doesn't help when he puts emphasis on a word by dragging it out.

The instrumentals also don't really do this genre any justice, if anything they may be the biggest problem with "Play-it-safe" genres. The instrumentals of this song at least, sound better than they would for a band like Simple Plan, which isn't saying much.

The lyrics are also nothing special, I mean, they're nothing like "Addicted" or hell even "Untitled", they're just about a place the band members grew up. I think that is my biggest problem with the song, it is the very definition of "Play-it-safe", even if that wasn't the intention, it does absolutely nothing with itself, except for the chorus where the frontman is almost drowned out by the instrumentals.

Nothing about this song is "it's own" really. I mean, even a pop-tronic song like "Lights" I can still tell is it'w own song. Even awful Katy Perry songs are at least her own style of music. This is just, pop-punk for the void. It's made and thrown into the ether in hopes that it will find some popularity. I do not like songs or artists or labels that do this, for this is not what music is. I don't think this band is entirely like this one song, that would be dumb to think, but this song itself is just so bland and generic that I legitimately can't hate it, I can hate the things surrounding the song, but the song gives me so little that I can't even muster a strong negative emotion. So with all that said, can I really consider this music?

I'm seriously asking because, even "Mr. Blobby", which I don't even want to dignify as music, technically did give me a strong emotional connection, albeit a very strong negative one. Even "Chained to the Rhythm" at the very least, gave me some emotional connection, even if it wasn't a very strong one. As this song went on, I've lost emotion in it. This song sucks, but even than I can't say that because I can barely feel anything for this song. I have no feelings towards it.

That is something I've very rarely come across in a song before, so I think next time will be a song that did give me a strong reaction.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and let's forget this genre even existed, alright?

Ace Audio: "Upside Down & Inside Out" - OK Go

Or, why OK Go is more than just a group that makes awesome music videos.

Yeah, anybody who knows OK Go most likely knows them for they're utterly amazing music videos. I mean, when I eventually do my best music videos list, it will be a damn near impossible task to select one of their videos, and you can damn sure it will be top five. However, that is not the point of this review, I want to showcase why they are more than just guys who make amazing music videos, and are also good musicians.

Picking one of their songs was itself a challenge, I could've gone with "Here it Goes Again" as that was the video that got them famous. I could have picked "This Too Shall Pass", and I even thought about doing "Needing/Getting", but then there was this song, which was attached to one of the best music videos I've ever seen, and I thought that the video might be overshadowing the song.

So, I think the first thing I should say is that, the instrumentals are a weird techno-rock kind of style. I'm not talking about Daft Punk's Human After All where they included more rock elements, this is something entirely different and quite honestly, I like it. The opening instrumentals are very energetic and upbeat which is an immediate hook to any good song, really if you are bad at making an impression with your opening, or you completely change styles from your opening your song won't really go far, and this opening makes a nice impression.

The instrumentals do shift into a less energetic sound at some points in the song, but it's welcomed because the instrumentals themselves are always loud and upbeat. I think this is a good song to highlight something I don't like about a lot of songs, when they mistake being loud and obnoxious for being loud and upbeat. "Call on Me" had this very same issue, so what is the main difference? Something that is loud and obnoxious is just that, annoying and sometimes painful, and even though some upbeat songs can be annoying, it's never to the point where it physically hurts to listen to a song, "Call on Me" gives me a headache after just thirty seconds, "Mr. Blobby" and "Bananaphone" were both just annoying, with the latter song also being repetitive, and "Hello Kitty" was actually very close to giving me a headache with it's dubstep wub-noxious beat that took over the whole song.

"Upside Down & Inside Out" does not have either of those problems, even though, in some cases, it really should. Why does this song not give me a headache? Maybe because it doesn't sound like a drill going through my head nor like the song is causing my brain to vibrate uncomfortably. Why is this song not annoying? because, unlike "Mr. Blobby" or "Starships" when it does shift it's tempo and tone, it doesn't come out of nowhere and is actually a very welcomed change, the other two songs almost randomly switched into a completely different genre which makes it harder to really attach myself to those songs. Then we have the harder question to answer, why is this song not repetitive? Well, I think it is because, although the chorus is repeated a lot, each one is usually different from the last, take the ending part as an example, it begins slowly and then ends like any good upbeat song should, with a bang! Whereas in a song like "Bananaphone" the only change we got was changing a couple letters in the verse, which lost it's charm quickly.

I'd also like to talk about the lyrics, but I can't really find anything about this song. Wikipedia only has information about the music video, you know how I said the video was overshadowing the song? So, I'm going to give you what I think the song is, and honestly, it's not very easy to decide. A part of me thinks it's a break up song, maybe it's about making a personal change, maybe it's about being confused, or maybe it's about nothing at all. I don't really have much of a starting point to jump off from here. Although despite this, I do like some of the lyrics, especially this verse: "So when you met the new you/Were you scared?/Were you cold?/Were you kind?/Yeah when you met the new you/Did someone die inside?"

I wouldn't say this is my favourite OK Go song, it does lack some of the lyrical quality of a song like "Skyscrapers" or "The Writing's on the Wall", but I would say it's up there. It does a lot of things that usually annoy me in music, but in this case it actually does them correctly and not as badly as the songs I cover on the other part of my blog. I know that in the end OK Go is going to be known for their amazing music videos, but once the novelty of those fade, it's nice to know we're going to have good songs to go with them.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and next time is another look at the pop punk scene... hooray...

Auditory Abominations: "Girls" - Beastie Boys

"Awful song from an otherwise good artist" counter: 5
Yeah that's right, I'm keeping count now.

I think this is one of those songs that gets a free pass from people because "It's not meant to be taken seriously, it's silly, it's meant to be a joke" but I don't buy those excuses. This song sucks, and here are the reasons why.

For starters, that opening beat sounds like the theme tune to a children's game show got thrown into an NES and was mixed with "Axel F" after it went through the ZX Spectrum. It lasts for seven seconds but it becomes obnoxious at the first. Then it gets worse, the vocals kick in.

This song is sung by Ad-Rock and his voice is high and nasally, but I've heard worse. That is the thing, when you're talking about a song you hate from a band you love, or even just like, there is surprisingly little you can say on the topic of singers. However, I will say that the vocal work combined with the obnoxious beat make me about as happy as having an infected splinter on my foot.

Speaking of obnoxious the songs flow is just that. It's simple sing-speaking with a large emphasis on one word after every sentence. It becomes grating really fast and the word they put the most emphasis on, "Girls", because obviously.

It also makes the song sound repetitive, although it isn't. Still though, the fact is that the beat and flow are so bad that they make the only part of the song that isn't repetitive, sound like it is, that is some kind of feat that I'll give it credit for, I've never heard a song with that problem. I've also never seen a beached whale be mutilated by a fork lift until Family Guy so take that for what it's worth.

But okay, flow is one thing, how are the actual lyrics? Well, they are kind of split on my feelings towards them. The first bit is Ad-Rock talking about his love for women, and I get the same feeling from this bit of the song that I get from a song like "I Want to Know What Love Is", but that may just be me. The second bit is probably the best part of the song lyrically, he's talking about a woman whom he fancied, but she fancied MCA, and honestly, the only thing that ruins it again is the flow and beat. The final part is my least favourite, honestly if the song ended with the final line and how it was sung, sure the song would still be an abomination, but at least it would have ended on something high instead of this sexist group of lyrics.

I've heard that this song was not supposed to be taken seriously, which is fine, but that doesn't stop the song from being awful. If anything it actually makes it worse because when the artists don't take it seriously the song ends up becoming worse than it normally would. For a good example, Weird Al probably doesn't take his song super seriously, but what makes them funny is that he takes the music he makes seriously. It might sound like an oxymoronic statement, but you do have to take what you do seriously, even if you aren't supposed to take the song seriously, that is why I had trouble talking about "Bananaphone" as Raffi, even though made an annoying song, took the song seriously, or at least took it seriously while making it.

Honestly, I'd much rather listen to "Bananaphone" over this, that song was annoying but this was obnoxious. The beat pounded on my ears, the flow made the song worse, the lyrical quality is all over the place, this song is one of the worst to come out of the 1980s, and I completely forgot how awful this song was.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, jus... Just No!

Ace Audio: "This Grill is Not a Home (Just a Greasy Spoon)" From SpongeBob SquarePants

No, I'm not joking, this is one of the better songs from SpongeBob, not my absolute favourite, but top five hands down.

However, that is not the reason I want to talk about this song, no I want to talk about this song because of something I brought the last time I reviewed a song from SpongeBob. Yes, I went on a little rant about why the song "I Can't Keep My Eyes Off of You (Oh, Baby)" from the episode To Love a Patty didn't work, and then it hit me, or I learned it by watching someone on the internet talk about it. SpongeBob always did songs like this.

Don't get me wrong, that song is still an awful abomination, but I made a mistake in that review, and I'm going to use this one to clear it, funny how fitting it is that I use the same show to fix a mistake, right?

So what was the mistake I made in that review? Well, here it is:
"I should also mention that this was apparently supposed to be a parody of a song from High School Musical, which doesn't work because that would require the audience member to A). Have seen High School Musical, and B). Have liked it enough to know all the songs. C). actually watch SpongeBob, and D). Actually dislikes that particular song to find this parody funny. I have never watched High School Musical, and I have no intents to, so if the audience doesn't get the reference than the parody is dead."

Yeah, I think now I'm going to start eating my words, I hear they make a nice addition to smoothies. So, what makes that sentence a mistake? Well, this song does, but what do I mean by that? Well, let's go through the list and take a listen to the song shall we?

So, I think that the first two are obvious as they are dependant on the other, and the third is also rather obvious since, uh-doi. So, what part of being a parody did this song get right where that one didn't? Yes, this song is a parody, of the song "A House is Not a Home" originally by Dionne Warwick in 1964, and also by Luther Vandross in 1981, I haven't heard either version before doing this review, but it's apparently how memories and the like can make a home become more and moving house can sometimes not feel right.

So, why does this parody work instead of the other awful parody? Well, first and foremost, the parody could actually work. Anybody who knows their music, or at least knows this song, might get a kick out of the parody and how they're using it for a similar meaning.

Which actually brings me to the big reason this song one-ups the other, this song actual serves a purpose to the story. The other song I covered took a lot away from the actual story and gave us a really annoying, not very entertaining song instead. This song on the other hand, actually does what a musical number should do, tell the emotional side of the scene with music and singing.

So, I guess ultimately the problem with the previous song had little to do with it being a bad parody. With that said, I think that this song also kind of proves why the other one is such an abomination. This episode came before To Love a Patty.

I also have to say, SpongeBob's and Mr. Krabs' voices are, although not perfect, still really good. They hit the keys they need and, since these are voice actors doing these roles, get the emotions down really well.

Surprisingly though I also like the lyrics. SpongeBob, now working at the Chum Bucket, feels sad since he loves working at the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs, likewise, hates the fact that SpongeBob isn't around, and the lyrics they sing really show their feelings. I'm not going to lie, this was one of two songs in this show that made me tear up as a kid, hell it almost makes me tear up now.

This song is the exact opposite of "I Can't Keep My Eyes Off of You (Oh, Baby)", as this one is a parody that works, actually adds to the story instead of takes away from it, is a good song on it's own, and doesn't have a scene of SpongeBob murdering a bunch of scallops to protect a sandwich.

Sorry that this wasn't a particularly big review, but I think it's important that if I make a mistake I should rectify it at some point, and honestly I felt like it should have been now. I won't be editing the other review, nor taking it down, that would kind of defeat the purpose of this review.

With that being said, next time will be a return to the songs that didn't originate from cartoons, so keep an eye out for that. I'm the Entity of Darkness, and next time will be nothing but GIRLS!

Auditory Abominations: "Get Up and Boogie" / "Fly, Robin, Fly" - The Silver Convention

Well, the Ace Audio mini-marathon was fun, now it's time to go back to the awful stuff. You know how I said that the 1970s was the best decade for music? Well, there was a lot of crap in that decade as well, and quite honestly, I think these are two of the worst songs of the 1970s.

Now, normally if I did a blog where I reviewed multiple songs than I would go over the songs one after the other. However, that is not really possible here, not because the songs are the exact same, but they are Abominations for the exact same reason, and that is their lyrics.

I have said before that dance songs don't need the strongest lyrics, nor do they need any lyrics, but even then the lyrics can still completely ruin a song, whether they are repetitious, make no sense or are just not good lyrics. These songs have a new problem, they are too minimal, each song uses six words each and repeats them ad nausea.

But, this issue affects each song differently, so I may as well go into each song on it's own. I'll start with "Fly, Robin, Fly" because it is the better of those two.

This song begins with cymbal tapping, bass and piano. What do you expect, this is a disco tune, and although these instrumentals aren't awful, they are nothing special either, they aren't even that good for dancing. Compare this to something by the Bee Gees, now say what you want about the Bee Gees, but the instrumentals in their music has some funk to it, it's upbeat and easy to dance to. I know I keep talking about this, how songs are not easy to dance to, but that is a large problem because if the song itself is crap, and you can't dance to it, then what good is it?

But how does the lyrical problem effect this song? Well, it mostly just makes the song really boring. Even though they keep repeating the same phrase over and over again, it does not make this song sound any more exciting. I don't even know if this is supposed to be an empowerment anthem, I mean it would make sense, but with this lazy writing, it might be the worst empowerment anthem I've ever heard.

But now let's get to the worse of the two, "Get Up and Boogie", wow, that's a word that immediately dates this song. Let's add "Boogie" to the list of words that need to come back, alongside "Groovy", "Gnarly" and other surfer lingo.

So this one is obviously supposed to be a dance song, and it is one of the worst I've ever heard. Although the instrumentals are better in this song, as they actually sound like something I can dance too, not that I'd want to, it's two things that really kill this song.

The first thing is the vocals, I know live recordings sound different from studio ones, but seriously, these ladies sound like they themselves are bored with this song and are forcing any enthusiasm to make this song just a smidgen more interesting. They quite honestly had to try to make this song sound worse.

The other reason is song fails is, as you guessed, the lyrical content. Although, I will say that "Fly, Robin, Fly" actually sounds more complete. The lyrical content of this song sounds like they grabbed something off of ABBA's cutting room floor without reading it and questioning if the other seven-eighths of this song were necessary.

I've complained about songs that I didn't want to dance to, and I have said that usually, it's because of the instrumentals, but this is a rare case where it's actually the vocals and lyrics, because this song makes me want to turn it off and put on some classic rock and roll.

I stand by saying that the 70s were the best decade for music, it had practically everything from arena rock to singer-songwriter ballads to heavy metal to novelty hits. I'm not letting these songs ruin what makes the 1970s the best decade for music. These songs are minimal, boring and not really interesting at all. I personally don't care for them, it's songs like these that stain the reputation of past decades, remember the 70s gave us "More Than a Feeling" and "Stairway to Heaven", classic songs recognized by music lovers old and new, these songs however, I doubt many people truly remember these songs.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and I think my next review is going to be much more interesting.

Ace Audio: "Always Something There to Remind Me" - Naked Eyes

With my last post talking about two songs that really show the power of music, I thought it would be fitting to talk about a song that, while may not be a classic, really resonates with me on a personal level. I remember the first time I heard this song was when I got a compelation CD of 80's British classics from my step-dad, although it was not the last song on the disc, I usually stopped the CD after it.

Although the song begins with a fast percussion beat, it really starts with a nice ringing of bells and a musical style that accompanies this. This is interesting because the bells could be Church bells, signifying a wedding, a funearl or the passage of time, and neither are surprisingly the less cheery option as you will find as the song goes on.

Lyrically, the singer is remembering someone, most likely somebody he loved. Whether they just drifted apart or if worse happened, it's not clear, but what is clear is that the memory remains, in a sense she'll always be a part of him.

That is the part that resonates with me the most, and this is where the song becomes an Ace Audio for me. This is going to get a little personal.

You see, as a child I moved to three different schools, and I spent the longest time at the second one, that's where I met a lot of friends. Even though it has been literal years, possibly even a full decade since I've last seen them, I'm always going to remember them, my time with them has become mere memory to me, but they are very strong memories and I could never forget them.

I guess this song really brings forth the memories of my friends and the things we did. Although I have made more friends in the past, some of which may be stronger than my friends of childood, I can never let the memory go, and I personally don't want to.

This is what makes the song special to me, and I know that the point of the song is not what I ascribe to it, but that is what the song means to me, and isn't the interpretation of the listener just as valid as the interpretation of the writer?

To give you an idea of how personal this song is to me, it's currently in my top ten favourite songs of all time. To give you some perspective, "Tom Sawyer", "Bohemian Rhapsody", "Octavarium" and "Stairway to Heaven" are also in my top ten, they all rank higher than this song yes, but they are still in my personal favourite songs list.

That really goes to show the power that music has, it makes me remember things, feel things, learn things. Music is the mixture of writing, performace and audience centered art, and this is in my opinion, one of the songs that perfectly captures that. It is not a perfect song, hey, it might not even be a good song, but I would be lying if I said it isn't a personal favourite.

I'm te Entity of Darkness, and it's fitting that this is the end to my Ace Audio mini-marathon.

Ace Audio: "Forplay/Long Time" and "More Than a Feeling" - Boston

When this decade ends I plan on doing a worst songs list, this is because there are a lot of songs that I don't think I can really talk about on this blog on their own. I'm telling you this because I also plan to work backwards through the decades and do best and worst songs for each, and there will be two decades that will be near impossible to actually rank properly when it comes to the best list, and those are, unsurprisingly, the 1970s and the 1980s, although, the 70s wil probably be the easier of the two. It's not hard to imagine what songs would make my list of the best songs of the 70s. The 70s was a decade where everything was recorded, Punk Rock, Progressive Rock, Disco, Heavy Metal, and Arena Rock, which I am not the biggest fan of, but there are the songs I think everybody needs to hear, and Boston has two completely amazing songs that everybody needs to hear, and those are "More Than a Feeling" and "Foreplay/Long Time", and the latter is my favourite of the two.

Why is it my favourite of the two? Because of the god damn intro. Holy damn, this is how you begin a song. The escelating keyboard opens this song beautifully, and when the guitars kick in, oh man. Really, the whole song is worth t, just for the intro with the amazing keyboard and guitar work, and the drum work is also nothing to scoff at either. This could have been the whole song and I doubt anybody would have compalined. This is the "Foreplay" part of the song, it only searves to get us pumped for the "Long Time" part. It starts with an amazing guitar, it's so energized and just real. There is a lot of passion in just the guitar work alone that it sounds so, beautiful.

Although the "Foreplay" part is my favourite, the "Long Time" part is also really interesting. It's not easy to pin down what this song is about. The line "Well, I'm takin' my time, I'm just movin' on/You'll forget about me after I've been gone"  always makes me think though, will I be remembered if I'm gone? Not even in death but like, when I leave school, when I leave the city, when I leave my home, will I be remembered. It really goes to show the strength of music to bring such thoughts to my head, even if it is just one lyric.

But, I said two songs that everybody needs to hear, and the other one may just be a perfect example of a rock song, alongside "All Along the Watchtower" or "A Day in the Life", yes, "More Than a Feeling" is one of those masterpiece songs that I try not to talk about a lot, but I want to look at what makes this song a masterpiece.

Well, let's begin with that beautiful fade in. The guitar fading in really works and gets you intrigued in the song. It's not a song that quickly goes into the fast and harsh instrumentals though, as even the opening vocals are calm and smooth. It's at the end of the first set of lyrics that the song goes into a more rock volume, but even then it sounds nice, I can not do the instrumentals on either of these songs justice, I reccomend you listen to them yourselves.

I also really love the chorus, I mean, damn is that a chorus I'll be humming or what? It's so simple and yet so powerful at the same time, and that really shows the power of music as well. Both these songs showcase the inherint power in amazing music, that is part of the reason I actually started to look at songs I liked too, because these are songs that not only resonate with me, but also showcase some of the best music has to offer, from a really important song to a song that is just really good, to a masterpiece like this, there is just something magical about music that makes it, as this song goes, more than a feeling.

This song is about the power a good song has, at in the song itself the narrator sings about the memories and thoughts he has when the song plays. It lets me think about the songs that have strong emotions or memories attacthed to them, it's like how I'm never going to listen to David Bowie's "Let's Dance" without thinking of DDR, or how I'm not going to listen to "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" without thinking about that Daft Hands video, or "Living in the Sunlight" without thinking about SpongeBob, these kinds of memories I have made with the music I listen to in some respects make the songs stronger.

These two songs really show off what kind of power music has, and that is what I really love about the medium. Music is a showcase of thoughts, emotions, feelings and stories told within rhythm, harmony and the playing of instruments, and I want to highlight, if not the best, than some of my favourite songs.

I'm going to leave you with a playlist of some of my favourie songs, there are over 300 as of this blog writting, and yes, that is my real username, don't bring it up. By the way, this playlist works a lot better when you shuffle the order around: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtYQf8cnBeCXebDofDyLLeWcwiMW3WBgI

I want to know, what are some songs that resonate with you, either because of memories, feelings or emotions, even if it's a song I can't stand, I still want to know what you see within the song and why it resonates with you.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, see, told you it was my username, and I would like you to comment about what songs resonate with you.

Ace Audio: "Scatman (Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop)" - Scatman John

There are two decades that have some of the weirdest music, the first and obvious is the 1980s, I have done a marathon of 1980s songs and still did not cover some of the weirder songs. The next is the 1990s, although this was more for different reasons than the 1980s. Weird in the 1990s was more the odd one-off hits that were popular for a while but faded as the time went by, see the Latin dance craze for more proof of that. To put this in perspective, in 1996 the number one hit song of the year was "Macarena", it beat out "One Sweet Day" at #2, "You Oughta Know" at #29, and "1979" at #44. Actually, it was a remix that topped the charts, the actual "Macarena" only made #98, six spots below "Until it Sleeps" by Metallica. The 90s were weird, and in the midst of Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer, and Hanson, is it any wonder that this is one of the better decades for music? Yeah, there was garbage, but there was Grunge, Heavy Metal became more experimental giving us Marilyn Manson and Rammstein, Daft Punk released Homework, also we got Garbage, and we also got this song, which is one of the best songs released in the 1990s.

This is a Hip-hop, Dance Pop song sung mostly in Scat, only in the 90s right? For those who don't know, Scat is a singing style that is mostly nonsensical and random syllables and improvised melodies. Scat has a long history, dating back to Louis Armstrong and Cab Calloway if not further. But don't worry, if that still confuses you, the song itself starts with a good portion of it.

Even though the opening is Scat, as is a lot of the song, the song itself is not A Capella, there is a synth riff in there and it sounds great. You know "Axel F", well the synth is kind of like that in sound, as in the sound of the synth itself, the actual synth beats are different, but are still energetic and upbeat. The drums in the background also keep a nice discernible rhythm and the Scat singing is actually really catchy. If you want to make a dance song, this is a good song to learn how to do openings.

The song really kicks in around the 21 second mark, and this is where the song becomes really difficult to talk about, since a large portion of the instrumentals are Scat singing, and it is already difficult to describe instrumentals in the first place, this becomes an extra challenge. However, to put this simply, the Scat singing changes in beats and tone and becomes even more upbeat than before, and catchier as well.

Now the lyrics kick in, and if the song itself wasn't awesome before, well it's definitely awesome now. You see, Scatman John was a stutterer, think The King's Speech if that helps. However, singing actually takes place in a different part of the brain from normal talking, so this did not really have much negative effects on his career, and the Scat singing may have actually helped his career. I bring this up because, one, it is amazing to know, and two the first actual lyrical verse is well... "Everybody stutters one way or the other /So check out my message to you /As a matter of fact, I don't let nothin' hold you back /If the Scatman can do it, so can you".

You remember what I said in my "Johnny B. Goode" review, where I said that even though the song had one set of lyrics that meant one thing, the song itself could actually become kind of inspiring? It's kind of the same for this song, it's pretty much saying, "I can do this, so can you", and it is really encouraging.

There are other lyrics, but honestly, I don't think I could explain them if I tried, so I'm not going to bother, which is good because it will let you come to your own conclusions about the song.

Of course, between each bit of the lyrics we get some more really upbeat and really catchy Scat singing and damn does this become one of the most energetic songs ever, seriously this could easily make my list of best party songs.

Honestly, I think that is all I can really say about this song. It's funky, fun and oh so catchy. I seriously mean it, you will be humming the beat to this song after you hear it, it's that catchy. On top of that the instrumentals themselves add to the upbeat tone of the song, and the vocals are solid, not the smoothest, but they are rather nice.

Well, I think next time I'm going to look at a classic, I'm the Entity of Darkness and keep watch, next time I'm thinking about Boston.

Ace Audio: "Stronger Than You" from Steven Universe

This is going to be tricky, Steven Universe is currently my favourite show of all time. I love it's characters, animation, music, even many of the arcs are interesting, but that is not what will make this tricky. You see, when I reviewed that awful SpongeBob song, the largest problem with that song was that it took away from the episode, things that could have made the episode stronger. This song is almost the exact opposite of that, it adds to the episode and adds to the character that is singing it. So, here is my compromise, I will first discuss the song on it's own merits, since this is a song review blog, however, I will also talk about what makes this song work within the episode after all of that, so if you have not seen Steven Universe and you are so interested in it, then let that be your spoiler warning, if you are curious but not to much, well I will still ruin a lot of the surprise of this episode, but hopefully I'll get you interested. Although this is no longer my favourite song from Steven Universe, I may get to my favourite eventually, this was my favourite for the longest time, and I want to do it proper justice.

A large chunk of what makes this song awesome is Garnet, I just love her character in the show, and her awesomeness can be heard in quite honestly, the first line of the song, it shows her determination where the animation alongside the song can show her overall attitude.

I think there is one thing that makes this song work is also Garnet's singing voice, this may be because Estelle does her voice, oh who am I kidding? It is because Estelle does her voice, and I just love her voice.

The instrumental accompaniment is very nice, Steven Universe uses music quite strongly in the series and it can really show-off the best in a musical segment, this is the reason this is not my favourite song in the show, that would be "Here Comes a Thought" because it's music and vocal work were honestly stronger, but in this song, the music itself surprisingly works. I say that because it is not a track you would consider putting on to fight, it begins softly and escalates, but it uses strings rather than full club/house beats or rock, and it sounds nice and different.

The lyrics are going to be tricky to talk about because a lot of them work when you consider the rest of the show and episode, on it's own the song might give you some idea of what happened, but it really becomes stronger when you watch the whole episode. However, there are some lines that are just awesome on their own as well, including the sickest of sick burns "But I think you're just mad 'cuz you're single".

Yeah, but to really elaborate, this song really works because of what happened preceding it. In other words, this is where the spoilers start.

Garnet is not really one person, she is a fusion of two other gems, and this kind of fusion on the gem homeworld is not accepted. Essentially, the lyrics are Garnet saying to Jasper (the orange one), this is who I am, and you can't change me. That is basically said in the song as well, although only half of it was said directly.

I think my only major complaint about this song is that, it technically is an entire episode sub-plot, as you also see Steven save Amethyst and Pearl and have their own confrontation with Peridot. Although this doesn't interrupt the "funky flow" of the song itself, but if you're listening to this song on it's own it does kind of become a little annoying.

Honestly though, that is an issue that can be easily fixed by getting the song from somewhere other than the show, and it is a problem that a lot of music videos have as well. Overall, there really is not that much of an issue with this song, and it goes to show not only how well music can be implemented in any show, not just a cartoon, but it also gives no excuse to people who think they don't need to try because they're writing for a TV Show, much less a cartoon.

I honestly wish I could say more about the song, but this is what it is, a simple song. It is not as lyrically complex as "Take Me to Church", musically interesting as "Road of Resistance", nor as iconic as "Take on Me", but if you're expecting any of that, you are going to be let down. For what this song is, it is pretty amazing, and I may get to "Here Comes a Thought" some other time.

Steven Universe is my favourite show for many reasons, not the least of which is the music, and this song is a good example as to why.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and I am so sorry this one was late, I'll make it up by doing a mini Ace Audio marathon, with my next song being a lot of scat... That did not sound right, it's "Scatman" next.

Auditory Abominations: "Chained to the Rhythm" - Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley

You want my opinion on this song? It sucks, there, that is it. No, this isn't going to be so much of a song review, more a sudden realization of what I hated the most about this artist thanks to listening to this song. However, I will be fair and mention this song here and there, after all this is a song review blog. Besides, I needed to do at least one more Katy Perry song before I dropped her from my list entirely, unless she comes out with something that is actually an interesting level of bad.

You see, when it comes to Katy Perry, I always expect each song to annoy me to no end that I start questioning why I even enjoy music in the first place. I was expecting this song to be annoying, loud, obnoxious and so much more and it just wasn't.

Which made me realize what truly made Katy Perry my least favourite music artist, even more so than Limp Bizkit, Peter Cetera, Creed and Simple Plan. This is the one thing that made Katy Perry stand out as my least favourite more than any other band and musician I've covered on this blog thus far. To be clear, there is a strong difference between a musician being my least favourite and my most hated, least favourite, in this context, means I like it the least and that is Katy Perry through and through, whereas most hated, means that it fills me with such strong feelings of anger and loathing that any chance of me liking it has sunk lower than Marianas Trench. Thus far, very few artists have reached my level of most hated, but right now that is being occupied by Lil' Wayne.

Basically, what I'm saying is that, Katy Perry is not my most hated, because she doesn't really deserve being my most hated music artist, she is my least favourite because as her career went on, she became less interesting. I also would like to mention that everything that makes her stand out has been done by other music artists. The genre she is a part of has been defined by the likes of Michael Jackson and Madonna before hand, her outfits have been done by Bjork, Marilyn Manson, David Bowie, Prince, Liberace, Elton John, Michael Jackson again. Nothing about Katy Perry is natural, and her music just isn't that interesting, although "Ur So Gay" and "Dark Horse" are on my future to do list.

If you don't believe that her career became less interesting, I think I can devote a couple paragraphs to this song.

Honestly, everything about the opening bit is boring. The beat sounds boring, Katy sounds boring, not even the lyrics sound interesting. Some bits of it remind of other Katy Perry songs to, and quite frankly, this may just be the most boring song I have ever heard. I mean, "Glory of Love" at least had an interesting history, This song doesn't even have that.

The music video is more interesting than the song, all though that mostly is just because of how damn weird it is, why everybody is wearing 1950s style apparel is beyond me.

Skip Marley has a guest verse, it's pretty short and honestly not that interesting. Just like the rest of the song. Overall, this song wears it's welcome out quickly, and just doesn't give a whole lot, I don't think it's worth listening to, but then again you'll probably forget that you heard it after you listened to it.

You see what I mean? This song had so little to talk about, that I used this time to talk about what I disliked about Katy Perry. This song may have made my list for worst Katy Perry songs, but all in all I don't think it's really worth any of my emotions.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and next time will be something truly interesting.

Auditory Abominations: "Jar of Hearts" - Christina Perri

You know, I really should have dealt with all of these songs in February, but then again, it's better I get them off my plate now so I can cover more interesting things later. yeah this is another one where one of the largest problems with the song is how uninterested it is in itself, but alas, that is not the biggest problem with the song. Shall we do another lyrical analysis?

Before we get into lyrics, let's discuss the song. The opening is soft piano and a pitiful attempt at singing, I think she's trying to convey feelings of pain, loss and stuff, but she ends up sing-speaking instead. Also, I think that this may be, one of the worst piano songs I have ever heard in my life, "I Hate U, I Love U" is thus far the worst, but this comes close. The piano is just so soft and it tugs at your heart-strings and it is such a god damn tool. It is so much a tool that it just fades into the background, in fact I think that is actually what they did, they just faded the piano into the background a bit just so we can hear the singer.

The singer by the way does this song no favours. She sounds like she wants sympathy but all I hear is "I went through this, feel sorry for me". Honestly, I think it's really staying when "Detroit Rock City" is a more depressing song than this, and that song was by KISS!

But honestly, none of that really matters, well it does, but it's nothing compared to this songs biggest problem. The lyrics, oh sweet Dio on a throne of fire, these lyrics are sad. Not sad as in they make me cry, but actually knowing that somebody wrote these lyrics makes me sad.

Honestly, the first set of lyrics are, passable. I do like the line "I'm not your ghost anymore" which brings a pretty good metaphor. Then we get the line "I learned to live, half alive" which makes it sound this was a horrible ordeal. This is a break-up song, and we get a line that would sound right at home in "To Hell and Back", which you know had the line "Let them fall face down if they must die/Making it easier to say goodbye".

The chorus is also pitifully weak, I mean "Who do you think you are?/Runnin' 'round leaving scars/Collecting your jar of hearts/And tearing love apart" will not go down in history as one of the best insults in music. Then again, neither will "You're gonna catch a cold/From the ice inside your soul". Like, that isn't even worth a burn joke, that is just straight up pathetic. Honestly, I'm not really one for the insulting kind of break up songs either, I talked abut why in my "Addicted" review, but comparing this song to "Addicted" makes me shudder because it forces me to say the words "Simple Plan is better", I feel dirty, but it's true, Simple Plan at the very least was memorable for a better reason than having a truly weak insult.

She then goes on to sing the lines "But I have grown too strong/To ever fall back in your arms", and honestly, I don't buy it. She sounds like she wants to go back to him, and forget all the bad things that ever happened. We've all been there, but we've had friends to help us through the confused emotions, this honestly sounds like she was trying to work through these feelings on her own, which doesn't make one strong, it just makes you look like a loner.

Also, a minor nitpick, but one lyric that drives me nuts is this: "You don't get to get me back", it just doesn't sound or look right, and a better way to write it would replace the second "get" with "have" or "take" or any other synonym for "get". I understand what she is trying to do here, but it just doesn't work.

This is also another one of those songs where the majority of lyrical content is mostly just chorus. You know, I hate songs that are so proud of their chorus that they don't bother having more than four lines in their verses. I'm not expecting lyrics from System of a Down, but I am at least expecting you to put more effort into your lyrics. Metal and rock can get away with this because they often give a lot of time to instrumentals, but even then metal tries harder with it's lyrics.

This may be the worst break-up song I have ever heard. The piano is stock, Christina's performance is poor and the lyrics are weak. Nothing about this song works, and it just sounds like a ploy that screams "feel sorry for me!".

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and one more thing to get off of my chest before I can go back to interesting things.

Auditory Abominations: "Fight Song" - Rachel Platten

Music has many double edged swords, becoming more mainstream, making a charity single, becoming twenty-seven, but I think the biggest of these is making a self-empowerment anthem. This may not be the last song in that category that I review, but note that the majority of these songs are awful, it really says something when the best self-empowerment songs are not even self-empowerment songs. I mean seriously, this is why we have the Heavy Metal genre, is it not? However, I'm getting ahead of myself, so let's review "Fight Song" and wish that the only fight song we had was the Marilyn Manson song.

This song starts with a light piano. Honestly, I don't know whether I like it or not, it fits the mood, but it just doesn't sound that... good really. I mean, the piano seems simple enough, but at the very least "Walking in Memphis" and "Don't Stop Believin'" which also have simple piano, have great performances. So how is this performance? Weak as water, actually on second thought, water made the Grand Canyon, so weak as... I don't know, something has to be invented with the sole purpose of being weaker than the opening performance of this song. But hey, this is only the opening, the performance will get better right?

Honestly, Rachel Platten's voice just does nothing for me. Where is it written that every female pop star has to sound the exact goddamn same? I mean, come on, tell me the difference between Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Karmin, Rachel Platten, Kelly Clarkson and Carly Rae Jepsen, just to name a few. Actually, why is this a problem only with pop music? I mean, no women in metal sound the same, Doro Pesch, Brittney Slayes, Lzzy Hale, Joan Jett, they all have distinct voices. In fact, there are some pop artists who do have amazing voice talents like Lady Gaga, but no, what we get is another pop artist who sounds the same as every other wannabe pop artist.

Even in the chorus she sounds bland, like making a self-empowerment song was not enough to actually sound self-empowering. The beat itself tries to sound energetic, but what we really get is a watered down dubstep beat that tries in vain to make the artist sound interesting. It's Katy Perry all over again, but hey at least I could actually believe the message in "Firework", here all I get is, this is the lamest self-empowerment song in the world.

Lyrically this song offers little as well. The first verse is literally just simile about how small things can have large consequences. Which, if you want to write metaphors, first off do not use "like" or "as" those words make them similes and those are the easiest to write, this is something a third grader could do. Also, a better metaphor would actually compare you to a small thing that can actually DO something impressive, like an ant, seriously if you called yourself an ant, I would be invested because Ants are actually some of the most impressive creatures on this planet, but I'm getting side-tracked. But can you blame me? Ants, one of my least favourite animals on the planet, have become one-thousand times more interesting than music, something that I love with all my heart.

The chorus is really lame though, "This is my fight song", lady, I hate to break this to ya, but if this is your fight song, you are gonna lose! I can name you five other songs that are better fight songs than this, should I prove it?

1. "Through the Fire and Flames" by DragonForce
2. "The Pre-Fox for Death" by Necro
3. "Bodies" by Drowning Pool (Obvs)
4. "Aces High" by Iron Maiden
5. "Seek and Destroy" by Metallica

Isn't this why we have the whole power metal genre? So we can have fight songs without explicitly being about fighting?

"Starting now I'll be strong", start by putting some effort into your performance. Do I really need to go on? This is one of the most uninterested songs I've ever heard, no I did not mistype, I do in fact mean that I think that this song is so uninterested in itself that it could drop off the face of the Earth and I doubt anybody would notice.

Nothing about this song is interesting, and this is what I spend my time doing, listening to songs like this, with their dull music, dull lyrics and dull vocal performances that makes these songs so uninteresting to talk about that if it wasn't a self-empowerment song, than I probably would have skipped over it.

People, if this is your self-empowerment anthem, listen to some power/fantasy metal, it will probably make you a lot happier too.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and there are two more of these kind of songs that I have to scrape off my plate. No, not self-empowerment songs, but trust me they are just as bad.

Ace Audio: "General of the Dark Army" - Unleash the Archers

I find that Heavy Metal is one of the most divisive genres of music ever, maybe more so than Nightcore and Dubstep, but it is often times an acquired taste, and some times it's a taste you actually can acquire on your own. I remember the song that made me a metal head, which was "Enter Sandman", and since then I have been listening to lots of metal bands, Even some of obscurer metal bands, such as Dir en Grey. Although I would not really say Unleash the Archers is really obscure, I don't hear many talk about them. I'm going to take a look at one of their songs, and hope this gets some people to listen to their other stuff.

I think the first thing I should mention is that this is a power metal group leaning more on the fantasy /medieval metal side, which should be obvious by the band name. However, the soft opening should also be obvious to this. It actually sounds nice, a touch cliché for power metal, but it still sounds nice, especially when the electric guitar kicks in. Then of course, the harsher instrumentals kick in, but it doesn't sound jarring like it did with "Doris", it actually sounds natural. Although I can't help but feel like I've heard this opening bit in other songs, maybe by Helloween or Iced Earth or something I don't know, but then again it may be power metals equivalent of the Gallop.

Then we get the opening vocals, which are gorgeous. Seriously, Brittney Slayes has an amazing voice, and the way she sings "Beware the general" is just gorgeous. While I am on compliments, Scott Buchanan does amazing work on those drums, and the unclean vocals from Brayden Dyczkowski and Grant Truesdell mesh perfectly with the music and clean vocals. Unleash the Archers may have some of the best mix of clean and unclean vocals I've ever heard.

The lyrics are, fantasy metal, I can't describe them in anyway because there is no clear answer to what this song is about. The heretic executions of the dark ages, witch huntings, or maybe it is just about this badass general of a dark and damned army, or the Grim Reaper. The lyrics do set the song up for that interpretation, but then goes into "Stone the innocents/ Know they deserve it". Despite this, the lyrics are pretty cool, describing this general as a badass.

In fact, let's talk about that bit, because it's quite different from the rest of the song. The song itself transitions into that part so well that it doesn't bother to change notes or tempo, which is something that a lot of songs do when they change the way they sing the lyrics. That isn't a bad thing, but that just makes it more impressive when it can be done without changing anything major about the instrumentals.

The only time the instrumentals really change after the song begins is before the last chorus, where it goes softer again, but it is welcomed. It offers a brief (And I do mean brief), pause before you get another full blast of pure energy.

I think that is the perfect way to describe this song, a full blast of energy. Very little about this song takes a break, the instrumentals, singing even the ending goes on to hit that perfect note. I find that metal often tries to end with a perfect note and will go on indefinitely to reach it, this song does it well, but others do it poorly. Essentially, doing that is a gamble if it will work or not, but this definitely worked.

What can I say about this song? It's badass, it kicks ass and it showcases some real talent. The guitar work and drums are just plain jaw dropping, but the vocal work is what steals the show. It's really all of that stuff that makes this song truly admirable, and definitely one of the best metal songs of the decade, yes this is recent, the album this song is on was released in 2011. Whoever said metal was dead is clearly listening to too much Limp Bizkit.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, rock on! \m/

Auditory Abominations: "Hotline Bling" - Drake

I originally thought there was not a whole lot to talk about with music from the 2010s, especially since most songs follow a trend that is popular during the year or decade. However, what surprises me the most about this decade is not that there are few songs that fit this mould, but that there are many songs that do and still have a lot to talk about, case in point "Hotline Bling".

I have kind of a meter for songs I can cover on this blog, on the low end are the songs that seem to be simply outdated, at the very far end are the songs that full on offend me. I try to avoid both extremes if possible, even the worst songs I have covered don't go to far as to offend me, this song doesn't either, but mostly because the music is to mellow and clean to mask what is really wrong with this song. Yeah, this is going to be another lyrical analysis review, much like the atrocities of "Bawitdaba" and "Swalla".

Before I get into any of that though, let's talk about the other aspects of the song. Such as the opening beat, which is four drum machine beats played like it's an actual rhythm. Honestly though, it's not to annoying, but Drake's auto-tune is, I mean what even is that point of the auto-tune here? Seriously, what is the point of it?

When we the actual beat and music of the song, it's not terrible, although it sounds way to much like the Nintendo eShop's theme. Drake's voice also doesn't sound as entirely auto-tuned as the intro, although I would not be surprised if he still used auto-tune. Remind me to go on a large rant about this when I talk about Cher's "Believe", I've just to pick my battles at this point.

Well, it's lyric time, and the first problematic lyric is more of a nitpick than anything else, but I don't think Drake knows what a hotline is. He's using hotline as in ringtone and I can only assume the reason he used that word is because it sounded cooler. He also says that he knows "It can only mean one thing." Granted that one thing is fairly freaking obvious but just because you know what it is, does not mean somebody else knows what it is. A life rule to live by, nothing is immediately obvious.

I don't think this song knows what it wants to be, because it sounds and is sung like it wants to be a sympathetic break-up song, but at no point in the lyrics is there any indication that anybody broke up with anybody. All he says is, "Ever since I left the city" and we have to assume that at that moment she broke up with him and shake our fist saying "Doh, you broke his heart you evil person!" Which is not something I can do at the best of times, but certainly not when Drake is involved, or anybody associated with Lil' Wayne for that matter.

Some other lyrics of note are "You make me feel like I did you wrong/Going places where you don't belong" which makes me wonder, because there are places people don't belong like, the dumpster, the Sahara desert, The Sun, Encyclopedia Dramatica you know those places, but I have doubts that this woman is going to any of those places, so quite honestly, unless she is a goddamn child, she can go anywhere she damn well chooses.

Another large problem is that Drake never specifies how long he was gone, all he says is "Ever since I left the city", which, okay if he was gone for a couple days then maybe he would have the right to be angry, but as far as I know he could have been gone for half a decade, (Five years). In fact, the song becomes worse if you listen to it with that mindset because it makes Drake look so desperate that it almost comes off as abusive, I mean "Going places where you don't belong", "You don't need no one else", "Used to always stay at home, be a good girl", "Right now, you're someone else". You know what time period people would have said this to women? The 1930s, when women still had societal expectations placed upon them that are bullshit. Stay married to one man, bullshit!

Also, the last time I ever called anything a "Good Girl" was when I was comparing one of my cats to her brother, and how by comparison she was a good girl. Only by comparison though.

Break-up songs are everywhere, but I don't even think this qualifies as a break-up song. If it does, than "Breakfast at Tiffany's" also qualifies, and that is literally about two people who work through their relationship because they both kind of liked this movie from the early 1960s.

Looking at the lyrics, I feel like Drake should take OK Go's advice. "Aw, and it ain't real forgiving, it ain't real forgiving sitting here picturing someone else living". Link to that song here!

Honestly, it may have been a good thing this song's lyrics were like this because the song itself is just so dull. If it wasn't for the lyrics this would have been any other hack R&B song by Drake, but this has some of the worst lyrical content I've seen on this blog, not the worst, I still think "Swalla" has the worst, but this is currently in my top three.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and I need an Ace after this... What do I have lined up? Power Metal? Alright...

Auditory Abominations: "One More Try" - Timmy T

What the Hell is this?

Well, this was a number one hit from 1991, I'll repeat, this song was a Number One in 1991, the same year "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" defiled our ears. Being honest here, when people talk about music from early decades, most of the time it's the same as the final years of a previous decade. The only exceptions being the 1970s when the psychedelic era died down, and the 1990s where 1991 was kind of a strange point in music history. I mean, it's like 1989, but not really. I can't imagine songs like "Black or White", "Enter Sandman" or "I Touch Myself" in 1989, but then again it isn't hard to hear a song like "Losing my Religion" in 1989 either. 1991 was kind of a strange point in music history alongside 1982, 1976 and 2012.

This is one of the stranger songs, not because of the song itself but because it got popular enough to top the pop charts, and became the fifth biggest song of 1991. To give you some perspective, Mariah Carey had four charting songs that year, all of them charted lower than this. "Silent Lucidity" was also a chart hitter, landing the number 82 position, even EMF charted just below this song, at number six. This must have been a very good song to become that successful, or so you'd think. The most likely scenario is that this was just another case of a song that was very lucky to get as much airplay as it did, similar to the previously reviewed "Nothing's Gonna Change my Love for You".

The song opens with a preset synth riff, and it has the drum machine and this weird bass thing that sounds artificial mixed in. The synth itself could probably cause a headache, but the other stuff thrown in makes it extra annoying. If this qualifies as "Easy Listening" than I would also include a song like "Raining Blood" in there because that song is easier to listen to than this. Actually, can't I just do a blog about Slayer?

...No, I'm going to be hitting my Heavy Metal quota for the month quickly so probably not.

Anyway, after fifteen seconds of the annoying instrumentals, which feels like an eternity by the way, we get Timmy T here to sing the first line. You know, is it wrong to think of Timmy Turner whenever I hear that name? Maybe he actually wished that he had the voice of the blandest man in the world. Seriously, Peter Cetera has nothing on Timmy T, on blandness alone, he may be the worst vocalist in music, I don't even know if that is his actual voice or if it's auto-tuned. Honestly neither would surprise me.

The instrumentals just drone on, but the only reason the vocals don't is because they don't actually reach the level of drone on that I'm used to. There are speedy singers, then there are the normal singers, than there is this song, then there is "San Francisco", and finally there is "I Hate U, I Love U".

The we have the lyrics, and I will give Timmy T this, he is clear enough that I can hear every single clichéd apology word he sings. "Untitled" is the most clichéd song I've ever heard, but this takes a clear second place. Most of the lyrics are things that anybody would say to a loved one trying to win them back. "I didn't mean it", "It's been a long time since I held you", honestly it's just kind of pathetic.

Well, let's look at the chorus, and see if it offers anymore lyrical depth than the actual verses. Or the first chorus will start pretty much out of nowhere and still offer about as much lyrical depth as a puddle. Actually, a puddle is far more interesting than this.

This song sounds like a left-over from the 1970s, but this was from 1991. It may actually be the worst song from 1991, sure "Everything I Do (I Do it For You)" is more unbearable, but in terms of technicals and any entertainment, that song feels like Queen compared to this. The vocals are bland, the instrumentals are annoying and bland, the lyrics are clichéd and bland, and the whole song is one of the worst break up songs I have ever heard.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and next time is... another break up song. If it is anything as bad as this song, I'm going to snap.

Auditory Abominations: "I Can't Keep My Eyes Off of You (Oh, Baby)" from SpongeBob SqaurePants

Well, this is new. Yes, this is my first time I'm looking at a specific song from a TV Show, I mean I did look at the songs from "Dorbees - Making Decisions", but that was the entire thing, and only one video. SpongeBob SquarePants has over 200 episodes and two feature length movies, and even though the show isn't a musical series, covering all the songs would not be possible because 1). many of the songs are actually pretty good and 2). some of them barely crack a minute. Plus, I am planning to do a similar review for Ace Audio on a song from Steven Universe, have fun guessing it. So yeah, this is going to be a fun experiment.

This "treasure" of a song comes from the season 5 episode "To Love a Patty", an episode that I didn't like, not even as a kid. It was mostly because I didn't think the whole SpongeBob loves a Krabby Patty plot to be entertaining. Yes, you read that right, SpongeBob loves a Krabby Patty. No, not in the same way an artist loves their work, nor is it similar to that joke in "Just One Bite" where Squidward dreams of marrying a Krabby Patty. This is a whole episode where SpongeBob falls in a romantic love, with a burger. Of course this is the episode where we get one of the worst songs from the show.

I should also mention that this was apparently supposed to be a parody of a song from High School Musical, which doesn't work because that would require the audience member to A). Have seen High School Musical, and B). Have liked it enough to know all the songs. C). actually watch SpongeBob, and D). Actually dislikes that particular song to find this parody funny. I have never watched High School Musical, and I have no intents to, so if the audience doesn't get the reference than the parody is dead.

The opening instrumentals want you to know that they are doing this almost IN ERNEST! Having lightly strung instruments and an overall feeling of "whimsy" that is absolutely absent. The opening lyrics are also crap, but not for the same reason.

"Oh Baby/ They may call me a fool/ But I can't help/ Out gravitational pull"
As another music critic would say "NOT A RHYME", and the writer should know this. Tom Kenny doesn't even do anything to make those words rhyme, like pronounce "pull" like "pool" which is a basic technique that you are allowed to do, it is called a half-rhyme and you didn't even do that right.

While I'm on the subject, no SpongeBob is not the worst voice to be put to music, but in this song, he  is somewhere between this:

and this:

With the first video actually being of the better singing.

Almost sporadically does the song actually change into an up tempo pop song. SpongeBob's voice does really lean more towards the annoying side in this song at this point too, but that is not the worst part of this song.

The lyrics are what make this song so unbearable, but that problem with them stems more from the issues with the episode plot. Basically, the plot screws up because they don't personify the object enough for the audience to understand why SpongeBob fell in love with it in the first place. So when SpongeBob sings something like "When I stuff you with cotton candy/ It reminds me you're so sweet", I'm left wondering if SpongeBob sees the object as a sweet girl or if the object itself is just something sweet.

I also really dislike how SpongeBob sings the word "Baby" as he has to drag and emphasize each time. It became really annoying before the first time it happened.

The second verse (or third I really don't care at this point) kicks in and suddenly SpongeBob sounds like he is sing-speaking, when he was doing actual singing before. This only serves to make the song even more confusing rather than mix in an interesting contrast or style. If anything it just sounds like they were being lazy.

I would also be foolish myself to not mention the infamous scene where SpongeBob starts murdering clams. It really is not one of the better scenes of the series and over all it would have been better off removed. You can see why in any review of this episode.

The final line I'd like to touch upon with this song is one of the last lines, "From your pickles to your buns/ It ain't even funny". I mean, I know pickles and buns are used when making a burger, but pickles and buns are euphemisms for body parts, pickles being for a part that is generally seen on males. I have doubts that this was intentional, but I can't believe how that got through the censors, but then again this is the series that had an episode where one of the characters was psychologically tormented to the point of committing suicide. I don't get this show anymore...

This song is crap! It is a parody that very few, if any, people would actually understand, has really obnoxious singing, and lyrics that range from confusing to concerning. However, none of that really matters, sure they make it a bad song, but that isn't why I think this song is awful, or at least not entirely why. If this song was cut, we would have actually gotten more insight into SpongeBob's mind, so we could see what he sees. As far as the audience is concerned, Patty is just a burger, so any insight we could get would really help us. What does SpongeBob see Patty's character to be like? none of that is explained and this song could have explained it in a similar way to how The Nightmare Before Christmas handles its songs, but instead we get this fluff of a song that amounts to nothing and somehow became downloadable content for the Rock Band video game series.

I don't get it. I'm the Entity of Darkness, and if you need me, I'll be knee deep in that magical labyrinth of I. M. Meen. It sounds better than this.

Auditory Abominations: "Addicted" - Simple Plan

Hey, I've already talked about Simple Plan. Yeah, last year I reviewed the song "Untitled", which may just be home to the most generic set of lyrics I have ever heard. Well, see there is a reason I'm looking at Simple Plan again, and that reason is, "Untitled" is only one of their bad songs. I don't think I'm going to do another Simple Plan song after this, although "I'm Just a Kid" is also utterly terrible. The reason is that, "Untitled" is not the norm of bad Simple Plan, much like how "Glycerine" is not the norm of bad 90s music, "Untitled" was a completely different beast to slay than this. Although some of the main problems are still prevalent, the frontman is annoying and the instrumentals never get passed anything other than Meh, it has different problems than "Untitled" does. So, here is my second look at the worst band my country has ever spat out, opinion subject to change of course.

So, how does this song start? With what sounds like the bastardization of "Sweet Child O' Mine". This opening guitar riff sounds horrible and I feel like if it played on repeat it would cause a headache in two minutes. Aside from that, the frontman still sounds like a castrated Bob Dylan with a nasal cold, and the rest of the instrumentals don't really do much. However, that is not the worst part about the opening lyrics.

When they say "Addicted" they have to pause before they finish it, so essentially they are saying "I'm a dick, I'm addicted to you". Which is the worst pick-up line I have ever heard. I mean, "I want to know what love is", "Everything I do, I do it for you", "When I dream, I'm doing you all night", they all got nothing on "I'm a dick, I'm addicted to you", yes, I'm giving apologies to Foreigner, apparently you can sink lower than "I Want to Know What Love Is".

Okay, giving this song the benefit of the doubt in that this song might be a break-up song, no. You should not ever have say, "Hunny, I'm still a dick... Still addicted to you!" If I heard that, I'd cut all ties immediately.

The chorus itself tries to be sort of energized, but it just sounds the exact same as other Simple Plan songs. I mean, what is the difference between this song and "I'm Just a Kid", aside from the incredible line of "I'm a dick... I'm a addicted to you"? The chorus has many moments where the music pauses, and instead of putting emphasis on a specific line, they stop just to start as soon as the frontman begins again.

Also, the chorus makes me realize something I hate about break up songs, most of them are one sided. I get the idea that you only have your own thoughts on how and why the break up went, but I find that the best break up songs are not always the "I want you back" or the "I hope you die and rot alone where you belong" kind of songs, more a song like OutKast's "Ms. Jackson" which actually focuses more on the break up effecting other people within the family, and has some great lyrical contrast between Andre and Big Boy. Another good example is Gotye's "Somebody That I used to Know" as it actually focuses on the post break up, they are glad it's over, but he doesn't want to be cut out of her life. Also, Adele's "Someone Like You" which is a beautiful song about trying to move on, and they were all successful songs as well, each of them topping the Hot 100 in America.

Although comparing the songs success wise, this song peaked at number 45, so the general public all admits that these kinds of songs are not the best love songs either, but then you realize that this was the third single released from the band's debut album. This song, over a song that had one of the members of Good Charlotte that could have given you even more hits.

They chose a song that is at best an even lamer version of The Proclaimer's "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" which has it's charm and it's place in music history. You know what this song is at worst? A generic, par for the course Simple Plan song. I would much rather listen to Eamon's overly angry, rude and trying to hard too offend "F*ck It (I Don't Want You Back)" because even then that is a song that is about moving on, although one of the worst songs in that category.

I knocked out every problem with this song before the song even reached it's two minute mark. Thank whoever invented the pause button, and that is a true testament to a song's poor quality. You see, "Mr. Blobby" and "Starships" both got worse as they went on, "Swalla" and "Bawtidaba" both had so much lyrical problems that I could not end the review at just one minute of the song. A lot of the songs I cover I listen to entirely because they often change, get worse or just have such awful lyrics that I can't ignore them all. This song doesn't sound like it will change, and for three, almost four, minutes we get awful singing, bland instrumentals and a subject that has been before and since in different and more importantly better ways.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and next time I'm going to try something a bit different...