Music has many double edged swords, becoming more mainstream, making a charity single, becoming twenty-seven, but I think the biggest of these is making a self-empowerment anthem. This may not be the last song in that category that I review, but note that the majority of these songs are awful, it really says something when the best self-empowerment songs are not even self-empowerment songs. I mean seriously, this is why we have the Heavy Metal genre, is it not? However, I'm getting ahead of myself, so let's review "Fight Song" and wish that the only fight song we had was the Marilyn Manson song.
This song starts with a light piano. Honestly, I don't know whether I like it or not, it fits the mood, but it just doesn't sound that... good really. I mean, the piano seems simple enough, but at the very least "Walking in Memphis" and "Don't Stop Believin'" which also have simple piano, have great performances. So how is this performance? Weak as water, actually on second thought, water made the Grand Canyon, so weak as... I don't know, something has to be invented with the sole purpose of being weaker than the opening performance of this song. But hey, this is only the opening, the performance will get better right?
Honestly, Rachel Platten's voice just does nothing for me. Where is it written that every female pop star has to sound the exact goddamn same? I mean, come on, tell me the difference between Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Karmin, Rachel Platten, Kelly Clarkson and Carly Rae Jepsen, just to name a few. Actually, why is this a problem only with pop music? I mean, no women in metal sound the same, Doro Pesch, Brittney Slayes, Lzzy Hale, Joan Jett, they all have distinct voices. In fact, there are some pop artists who do have amazing voice talents like Lady Gaga, but no, what we get is another pop artist who sounds the same as every other wannabe pop artist.
Even in the chorus she sounds bland, like making a self-empowerment song was not enough to actually sound self-empowering. The beat itself tries to sound energetic, but what we really get is a watered down dubstep beat that tries in vain to make the artist sound interesting. It's Katy Perry all over again, but hey at least I could actually believe the message in "Firework", here all I get is, this is the lamest self-empowerment song in the world.
Lyrically this song offers little as well. The first verse is literally just simile about how small things can have large consequences. Which, if you want to write metaphors, first off do not use "like" or "as" those words make them similes and those are the easiest to write, this is something a third grader could do. Also, a better metaphor would actually compare you to a small thing that can actually DO something impressive, like an ant, seriously if you called yourself an ant, I would be invested because Ants are actually some of the most impressive creatures on this planet, but I'm getting side-tracked. But can you blame me? Ants, one of my least favourite animals on the planet, have become one-thousand times more interesting than music, something that I love with all my heart.
The chorus is really lame though, "This is my fight song", lady, I hate to break this to ya, but if this is your fight song, you are gonna lose! I can name you five other songs that are better fight songs than this, should I prove it?
1. "Through the Fire and Flames" by DragonForce
2. "The Pre-Fox for Death" by Necro
3. "Bodies" by Drowning Pool (Obvs)
4. "Aces High" by Iron Maiden
5. "Seek and Destroy" by Metallica
Isn't this why we have the whole power metal genre? So we can have fight songs without explicitly being about fighting?
"Starting now I'll be strong", start by putting some effort into your performance. Do I really need to go on? This is one of the most uninterested songs I've ever heard, no I did not mistype, I do in fact mean that I think that this song is so uninterested in itself that it could drop off the face of the Earth and I doubt anybody would notice.
Nothing about this song is interesting, and this is what I spend my time doing, listening to songs like this, with their dull music, dull lyrics and dull vocal performances that makes these songs so uninteresting to talk about that if it wasn't a self-empowerment song, than I probably would have skipped over it.
People, if this is your self-empowerment anthem, listen to some power/fantasy metal, it will probably make you a lot happier too.
I'm the Entity of Darkness, and there are two more of these kind of songs that I have to scrape off my plate. No, not self-empowerment songs, but trust me they are just as bad.
No comments:
Post a Comment