Hey, I've already talked about Simple Plan. Yeah, last year I reviewed the song "Untitled", which may just be home to the most generic set of lyrics I have ever heard. Well, see there is a reason I'm looking at Simple Plan again, and that reason is, "Untitled" is only one of their bad songs. I don't think I'm going to do another Simple Plan song after this, although "I'm Just a Kid" is also utterly terrible. The reason is that, "Untitled" is not the norm of bad Simple Plan, much like how "Glycerine" is not the norm of bad 90s music, "Untitled" was a completely different beast to slay than this. Although some of the main problems are still prevalent, the frontman is annoying and the instrumentals never get passed anything other than Meh, it has different problems than "Untitled" does. So, here is my second look at the worst band my country has ever spat out, opinion subject to change of course.
So, how does this song start? With what sounds like the bastardization of "Sweet Child O' Mine". This opening guitar riff sounds horrible and I feel like if it played on repeat it would cause a headache in two minutes. Aside from that, the frontman still sounds like a castrated Bob Dylan with a nasal cold, and the rest of the instrumentals don't really do much. However, that is not the worst part about the opening lyrics.
When they say "Addicted" they have to pause before they finish it, so essentially they are saying "I'm a dick, I'm addicted to you". Which is the worst pick-up line I have ever heard. I mean, "I want to know what love is", "Everything I do, I do it for you", "When I dream, I'm doing you all night", they all got nothing on "I'm a dick, I'm addicted to you", yes, I'm giving apologies to Foreigner, apparently you can sink lower than "I Want to Know What Love Is".
Okay, giving this song the benefit of the doubt in that this song might be a break-up song, no. You should not ever have say, "Hunny, I'm still a dick... Still addicted to you!" If I heard that, I'd cut all ties immediately.
The chorus itself tries to be sort of energized, but it just sounds the exact same as other Simple Plan songs. I mean, what is the difference between this song and "I'm Just a Kid", aside from the incredible line of "I'm a dick... I'm a addicted to you"? The chorus has many moments where the music pauses, and instead of putting emphasis on a specific line, they stop just to start as soon as the frontman begins again.
Also, the chorus makes me realize something I hate about break up songs, most of them are one sided. I get the idea that you only have your own thoughts on how and why the break up went, but I find that the best break up songs are not always the "I want you back" or the "I hope you die and rot alone where you belong" kind of songs, more a song like OutKast's "Ms. Jackson" which actually focuses more on the break up effecting other people within the family, and has some great lyrical contrast between Andre and Big Boy. Another good example is Gotye's "Somebody That I used to Know" as it actually focuses on the post break up, they are glad it's over, but he doesn't want to be cut out of her life. Also, Adele's "Someone Like You" which is a beautiful song about trying to move on, and they were all successful songs as well, each of them topping the Hot 100 in America.
Although comparing the songs success wise, this song peaked at number 45, so the general public all admits that these kinds of songs are not the best love songs either, but then you realize that this was the third single released from the band's debut album. This song, over a song that had one of the members of Good Charlotte that could have given you even more hits.
They chose a song that is at best an even lamer version of The Proclaimer's "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" which has it's charm and it's place in music history. You know what this song is at worst? A generic, par for the course Simple Plan song. I would much rather listen to Eamon's overly angry, rude and trying to hard too offend "F*ck It (I Don't Want You Back)" because even then that is a song that is about moving on, although one of the worst songs in that category.
I knocked out every problem with this song before the song even reached it's two minute mark. Thank whoever invented the pause button, and that is a true testament to a song's poor quality. You see, "Mr. Blobby" and "Starships" both got worse as they went on, "Swalla" and "Bawtidaba" both had so much lyrical problems that I could not end the review at just one minute of the song. A lot of the songs I cover I listen to entirely because they often change, get worse or just have such awful lyrics that I can't ignore them all. This song doesn't sound like it will change, and for three, almost four, minutes we get awful singing, bland instrumentals and a subject that has been before and since in different and more importantly better ways.
I'm the Entity of Darkness, and next time I'm going to try something a bit different...
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