Auditory Abominations: "Break Stuff" - Limp Bizkit

Is it too late to start regretting?

I know it might be a moot point to say that Limp Bizkit is not a good band, but this is about analyzing what makes a song bad and what to avoid when making music. Maybe I should include a what-we-learned portion for these blogs, I guess that would mostly consist of don't drone on, don't be utterly pointless and don't be a cover that misses the point.

Anyway, Nu Metal is kind of a genre that has two separate parts to it, on the first side are groups like Korn and Slipknot who are definitely more metal centric than the other part, which include groups like Linkin Park and Rage Against the Machine, who are more rap centric. I think it is unfair to lump both sides together as one genre because they really are different, although mirror on each other a lot. It's like difference between Pop-tronic and EDM, they are in the same boat, but are still different genres. The whole Nu Metal and Rap Metal craze began with groups like Korn and Rage Against the Machine, but it really took off after Limp Bizkit entered the scene, spawning off goups like P.O.D. and the like.

Some people would say that this band started off good, and then became utter shite, but personally I think they were hit or miss to begin with, I mean I don't hate "Nookie", is it a great song? No, but at the same time it isn't awful. I can see why people like that song at the very least, and from the opening guitar riff, I can see why people would like this song. Then, Fred Durst begins rapping, which sounds as if you castrated Eminem. Also something I'm noticing quick is that, the vocal track and the instrumental track don't really connect properly. By that I mean, they sound as though they were just thrown together from completely different songs.

The instrumentals are actually pretty good, as in really good, like I could hear some of this on legitimate metal tracks, Alt. Metal for sure, but still metal. The guitar just hits that right spot and sounds great, and those drums keep nice rhythm. With a different song, these instrumentals could work nicely.

However, one bad apple can spoil the whole patch, and in this case that rotten, squishy apple that you don't understand how it got into the bin and made you have to toss away some potentially good apples, is Fred Durst.

However, the consistent swearing isn't helping, I listen to all this music on YouTube, because why would I want to buy a song I don't like? The problem with that is, often times the channels, for some reason, censor a lot of swearing in songs, which in some cases really hurts the song such as in "Killing in the Name", and I'll get to the censored version of the song "F*ck You" eventually. I understand radio edits, but why YouTube? I literally heard the AVGN drop the C word once and that remains uncensored. These censors are really noticeable and stick out like a sore thumb. Sorry, just had to rant a bit.

Then we get the chorus, and by all things dark and mysterious, they managed to screw it up. How? By making it too repetitive and monotonous. It may not last long, but that doesn't matter when listening to it feels like the Wrath of Kahn. Except without the humorous screaming of his name.
DUUUUURRRRRSSSSSTT!!!!!

I tried, anyway, after the chorus we get some slower part that is sadly the only bit that actually feels as though the vocal track and instrumental track actually mix. It still sucks because it is just Fred Durst sing-speaking about, what else, calling somebody to a fight, or warning them to back-off. Although I will admit, the build-up is pretty nice, and then it actually becomes a half-way decent song. I'm serious, this part of the song should have been made into the whole song, I mean you can still have the awful rap verses, just ditch the chorus and make it this whole "Give me something to break" bit and this might have been a Meh level song.

Actually, the ending chorus isn't that bad either, although this one is mostly because of the instrumentals. Seriously, the instrumentals are really good, and it's a shame that they were wasted on a song like this. While there are good things about it, it does not stand on it's own.

I can see why people enjoy this song, and I'll even go so far to say that I even get why people like this song. However, I myself just can't get passed Fred's annoying voice, the repetitive chorus, the excessive swearing, even if it wasn't censored it would still be an issue, and how poorly the vocal track and instrumentals mesh together, the two are like oil and water.

Well, glad that this nightmare is over, let's see what's next. How did this Banana get into my pocket?

Ace Audio: "Goodbye Earl" - Dixie Chicks

It's sometimes amazing the things we hold on to as we grow older. For me, I'll never forget sitting in my Mom's car just listening to whatever song she had playing, and although I don't remember every song that I heard, I remember quite a few and they still stick with me today. "Goodbye Earl" is one of those songs, I remember it quite a bit, and although it's not one of those songs I actively go out to listen to, I still find it an enjoyable song, but let's be fair here, my taste in music has changed quite a bit from that time I was sitting in my Mom's car, so let's take a look and see if I have to say goodbye to this song.

First, the opening instrumentals, and I have no idea what that kinda keyboard sounding... sound is, but I love it, it actually reminds me a lot of the music for Spyro. The rest of the instrumentals have a kind of rock, kind of pop, kind of country sound which is nice. I like hearing a song that can easily fit into multiple separate genres.

This song tells a story about Mary Anne and Wanda, two best friends who go on different paths, one searches through the town and finds a man, who becomes quite abusive after marriage. So of course, she and her best friend work out the obvious plan of killing the bastard. I'd make the "Boy, that escalated quickly" joke, but no, and when you hear the lyrics, you can see why I find that this is, not acceptable nor moral, but... Well, if you find the solution wrong you should at least see the truth in the fact that there may not have been another solution.

The lyrics do an amazing job of describing the abuse Wanda went through, telling about how she had to hide her bruises and how Earl, the man she found, went right through a restraining order and put her in the hospital. The song also goes in the right direction in not having the two leads get caught in the end, it really does make it look more like the right decision. I also like how she actually went for a divorce and restraining order before hand, which does make the options quite limited. Granted, the scenario is a bit black and white, but this is more for black comedic purposes.

The instrumentals really do remind me of the soundtrack to the first three Spyro games, or at least the second one, and the Spyro games have some of my favourite video game soundtracks ever, probably only rivaled by the classic Mega Man Games. I also like Natalie Maines vocal performance, it really does sound southern, which I will be honest, one of my favourite accents, not really top ten, but top twenty at least. Of course Emily and Martie also shine with some vocal harmonies on this song.

The bridge is a nice transition to the chorus, and I do like the emphasis on the certain words. The chorus itself is quite upbeat despite the first chorus is literally the two drugging or poisoning Earl and wrapping him up in a tarp, wow, I should not have been listening to this as a kid. Seriously though, I can't help but enjoy the upbeat sound of the chorus, it really does show the juxtaposition between the lyrics and subject, and the music and performance. Yes, I am using that word properly.

For a late 90's country song, not only do I find that I love this song, but I find that it holds up quite nicely. I love the vocal performance, instrumentals and the lyrics. Really, I love this song, and I really do wonder what the rest of the album sounds like... After Metallica folks, after them.

Also, I should probably mention that I, and the Dixie Chicks for that matter, don't advocate murder, not even the pre-meditated kind. However, the same can not be said for getting even.

I'm the Entity of Darkness and I think I'm ready for another abomination.
Wait... Did I post any links in this blog? I did not, Well, that is a first!

Auditory Abominations: "Twitch" - Bif Naked

And yet another song in the "Bad song from a good artists" category.

Bif Naked is a Canadian rock musician with some songs more rock like, such as "I Love Myself Today", and others a bit more pop punk, like "Tango shoes", and this one is definitely more pop punk, but that was not the deciding factor of this being my next blog review, which is especially great because I don't have to talk about pop punk in the 2000s yet. In fact this song has been on my list since I started doing these blogs, and since the last song I looked at had several major issues, this time I'm going to look at a song that really only has one major issue, but oh man is it a big one.

The opening guitar riff is very... Teenage pop punk style, it just sounds very I don't know, odd I guess, but hey if My Chemical Romance has taught us anything it's that opening riffs are not the be all and end all of a song, so hey maybe there could be some good in this song after all, right?

Bif also sounds very teenage on this track, which makes her sound very...
Gwen Stefani, who was actually around the same age as her when this song came out. Yeah, the song really sounds like teenage rock which would be fine, except that it sounds so, odd. I can describe it, it just has a weird overall sound to it. It's like Bif Naked here wanted to be an Avril Lavigne or other pop punk princess, when her best songs are usually the more rock sounding ones like "Moment of Weakness".

If that was the only problem with this song I probably would not review it, but the lyrics also are nothing to celebrate. The vocal performance is very clear so there is no issue hearing the lyrics, but the lyrics are mostly just Bif sing-talking, or talk-singing I guess, about her boyfriend, or something, right after she says things about this boy she immediately says that "He has a girlfriend/she is my toy!" but then the chorus states that she is the only one making him smile.

Since I'm still single, I don't really know the "it's complicated" feeling of love, but I don't think that's what she was going for. In all honesty, I don't know what she was going for, it's just her talk-singing about her boyfriend and that's it.

Oh and if you're wondering why the song is called twitch, it's because the chorus states "Sometimes he'll twitch for no reason/it's just a twitch and it's part of his style." I don't get it, I really don't get it.

I disliked this song when I first heard it, but when I was younger it just made me feel awkward, but now that I am actually analyzing this song, I find that I don't like the teenage rock sound, the lyrics that make little sense, the uninspired sounding pop punk instrumentals which sound like something a teenager would play as their second riff after "Smoke on the Water". I guess the teenage rock sound is part of the style of the song, but I honestly don't find it to appealing. If I want teen rock I'll listen to "Sk8er Boi", wow anybody else remember that song?

Oh well, I'm the Entity of Darkness and, I guess listen to a better song of hers, I really have nothing to end this on.

Auditory Abominations: "Guerrilla Radio" - Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine

How is there another one? I did Pat Boone cover heavy metal, how is there another lounge music artist that covers heavy metal? It...I just...I

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, calming down, you may be wondering who this doofy guy in the tiger striped tux is. Well, this is Richard Cheese, a parody lounge singer, who does covers of hard rock, heavy metal and hip-hop songs. Also, say what you will, but at least I could see a lounge cover of songs like "Stairway to Heaven" and "No More Mr. Nice Guy", but "Chop Suey!"? "Closer"? and this? You would have to be a mastermind to not screw it up.

The song begins with piano and cymbals, which make me think this was made in the 50s, but no, this is current, this was made in 2000. Now, like I said when I did review Pat Boone's awful "Smoke on the Water" cover, I mentioned that a good cover song should at least have the tone of the original, or have a tone that better fits the song, see Johnny Cash's cover of "Hurt" for an example of the latter. "Guerrilla Radio" is a fast, rough track that is from a band called Rage Against the Machine, emphasis on the band name being RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE. A lounge act is not the best to cover a song like this is what I'm saying.

Everything awesome about the original track, like Zack De La Rocha's rap-rock vocals, and Tom Morello's guitar work are completely scrapped on the song to be replaced by smooth crooning that would make Frank Sinatra vomit, and instrumentals that sound right at home in the background of a fancy dinner party.

And remember the awesome chorus? With the breakdown and Zack just screaming "Lights Out/ Guerilla radio!" with the awesome guitars and drum work, yeah that is awesome. So how does the cover handle it? by not having a breakdown, having the instrumentals be exactly the same as they were in the main part of the song, singing in the same tone as the rest of the song and also singing them as slowly as possible. I mean, if I have not found a song that is the exact opposite of what it was trying to cover than I don't know what I've found.

Oh yeah, and the band name, that is not me poking fun at them, that is there actual band name, it sounds like somebody put up a sign telling people to not lean against the active machine and part of the sign broke off.

I have never heard a song that was both infuriating and really boring at the same time, I just can't believe that there are two awful lounge singers who covered heavy metal classics. Well, at least it stops with this guy, I have not heard any other cover artists like him. Also, why don't people actually cover metal songs that would make nice orchestral lounge songs, like "I Walk Beside You" or "Mr. Crowley"?

Well, I'm the Entity of Darkness, and next time, something else I should have done a while ago.