AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, calming down, you may be wondering who this doofy guy in the tiger striped tux is. Well, this is Richard Cheese, a parody lounge singer, who does covers of hard rock, heavy metal and hip-hop songs. Also, say what you will, but at least I could see a lounge cover of songs like "Stairway to Heaven" and "No More Mr. Nice Guy", but "Chop Suey!"? "Closer"? and this? You would have to be a mastermind to not screw it up.
The song begins with piano and cymbals, which make me think this was made in the 50s, but no, this is current, this was made in 2000. Now, like I said when I did review Pat Boone's awful "Smoke on the Water" cover, I mentioned that a good cover song should at least have the tone of the original, or have a tone that better fits the song, see Johnny Cash's cover of "Hurt" for an example of the latter. "Guerrilla Radio" is a fast, rough track that is from a band called Rage Against the Machine, emphasis on the band name being RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE. A lounge act is not the best to cover a song like this is what I'm saying.
Everything awesome about the original track, like Zack De La Rocha's rap-rock vocals, and Tom Morello's guitar work are completely scrapped on the song to be replaced by smooth crooning that would make Frank Sinatra vomit, and instrumentals that sound right at home in the background of a fancy dinner party.
And remember the awesome chorus? With the breakdown and Zack just screaming "Lights Out/ Guerilla radio!" with the awesome guitars and drum work, yeah that is awesome. So how does the cover handle it? by not having a breakdown, having the instrumentals be exactly the same as they were in the main part of the song, singing in the same tone as the rest of the song and also singing them as slowly as possible. I mean, if I have not found a song that is the exact opposite of what it was trying to cover than I don't know what I've found.
Oh yeah, and the band name, that is not me poking fun at them, that is there actual band name, it sounds like somebody put up a sign telling people to not lean against the active machine and part of the sign broke off.
I have never heard a song that was both infuriating and really boring at the same time, I just can't believe that there are two awful lounge singers who covered heavy metal classics. Well, at least it stops with this guy, I have not heard any other cover artists like him. Also, why don't people actually cover metal songs that would make nice orchestral lounge songs, like "I Walk Beside You" or "Mr. Crowley"?
Well, I'm the Entity of Darkness, and next time, something else I should have done a while ago.
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