Auditory Abominations: "Starships" - Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj is, in my opinion, one of the most annoying and frustrating music artists of today. I know she can sing well and I know she can sing better, but most of her songs are the most obnoxious pieces of crap I've ever heard, and this is the guy who listened to "This is How We Do", "We Built This City" and "St. Anger" prior to this, and honestly this may just be the worst of them.

The opening vocals are some of the most grating I have ever heard. They sound like a mix of guttural and nasal vocals, and the lyrics do not help the first impressions at all. If you are so desperate to fill up the song's time slot that you repeat the last sound in a word, your song will suck. Seriously, "let's go to the beach, each" just sounds like lyrical filler, and considering "Dark Horse" that is really saying quite a bit.

After the out-of-breath singer with a sore throat swaps into an out-of-breath singer with a nasal congestion. the song changes with the chorus where it just becomes a generic dance song. This is my biggest problem, with music in general, everything that becomes the most successful, is often generic dance music, recently that has been changing, with artists like Bruno Mars and others making dance songs with actual beats and funk instead of this kind of generic shlock, but in the early 2010s, not really, the most we got was "Safe and Sound" and "Lights", which still have their faux-dubstep beats, but they sound a lot better than this.

Honestly, I think my biggest problem with Nicki Minaj is that I can never tell when her voice is natural or auto-tuned, I've heard auto-tune used as effects, to enhance singing and as a freaking instrumental solo, so I think I'm fairly used to hearing auto-tune but Nicki Minaj, just sounds so unnatural and yet so comfortable with her singing, it's like the rumour that Robert Johnson was actually sped up on the records, you know in the 1930s when the wall of sound wasn't a thing yet, yeah that myth isn't true, but I'd believe it if it was about Nicki Minaj.

The chorus also has issues, the first part is a poor bridge to the actual chorus, where she claims "Starships were meant to fly". The thing is that neither part sounds connected. In fact, the whole song sounds disjointed, after the chorus comes this weird dubstep beat that sounds out of place, like this was just scrapped together from rejected songs by other music artists.

And then we get a completely different song than the one we started with, I mean seriously, what is with the ADD song structure? As much as I hate Katy Perry songs at least they are consistent, it's like if out of nowhere this suddenly became a review on the music video. Then suddenly out of nowhere she sings "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", Top 10 charting song everybody, with the lyrical accomplishment of a toddler's nursery rhyme booklet.

This song is disjointed, mismatched, obnoxious and so far worse than anything else I've heard. I think the only thing that can come close would be "After All" by the musical equivalent of a slap to the face and the musical equivalent of STDs respectively, Cher and Peter Cetera.

And no, I'm not covering that next time, I'm the Entity of Darkness and next time, home country shame.