As much as I don't like covering music from this decade on Auditory Abominations, I figure I should at least mention what I thought of the Hot 100 last year. Okay, first off Justin Bieber made Number 1, immediate problem there. Next, The Chainsmokers, can't stand them, and of course we get the usual crap from our pop idols, talentless new comers and Vine anthems. 2016 is no different in the pop charts than any other year in the mid-2010s, so I kind of just picked a song at random, so I guess I should go through with it.
The song begins with the most boring piano and female singer combination ever. I mean seriously, within ten seconds I wanted to throw on a more interesting song. I mean I'll give "Mr. Blobby" credit, that song may be worse but at the very least it's an interesting specimen, I'm only ten seconds in I can tell this is going to be one of the most boring songs I've ever heard. Getting back to the song itself, the female singer sings with the most uninteresting voice in the world, and she just drones on and on through the beginning of the song, and then there are the drums and snaps that, may have been used before "Royals" but that was the song that popularized them. I haven't even made it to the main part of the song, and I already want to end this review.
Gnash is no better, he also begins the song by droning on and on, because it worked for Drake right? Although considering his style, I think he wants to be a Macklemore, if the only Macklemore song he heard was "Same Love". He does sound like Drake, but has nothing Drake has, essentially he is Drake zero. The piano is also getting on my nerves, it is literally press a key and let it drone, and that is what this song is, drone on the song.
You know what this song reminds me of? "If You Leave Me Now" by Chicago, another song I can't stand for the exact same reason, it is boring, boring enough to put me to sleep. Gnash throws no emotion into his performance, like even some of my most hated vocalists like Austin Josh and Scott Stapp put emotion into their vocals. This is the equivalent of the acting in The Room.
I dislike the lyrics too, although not the extent of the performance, but they do this song no favours. It is some girl stating that she hates and loves our main singer here and that he misses her, and not "Her" as in the female singer, no he is talking about a completely different character in the song. That just makes everything much more confusing. Seriously, the chorus is girl singing "I hate that I love you and I know that you want another girl that I'll never be", and then Gnash sing-speaking "I miss you" to a completely different girl, and I thought "Lips of an Angel" was bad with this kind of relationship song writing, at least that song was clear in who was talking to who.
Olivia O'Brien also has more than the chorus in this song, but she sings with the same amount of charisma and emotion, i.e. NONE. I'll give her this though, at the very least she is actually singing, unlike Gnash who is sing-speaking. This part of the song is also awful, as it is her just saying, "I love you and I watch you watch this other girl and-" seriously? Move on, I understand it can be hard, but if he isn't interested or if he is spending to much time thinking of another girl than you should not be interested in him.
And this song, a song that has no emotion in any of the vocal performances, a Drake wannabe that only sing-speaks, a droning piano and messy lyrics, reached as high as Number 10 on the Hot 100, which means it actually charted, at Number 38 sure, but it still charted. Meanwhile in "Sweater Weather" peaked at Number 14 in 2013 and didn't chart until 2014 at Number 75.
I'm the Entity of Darkness, and if you excuse me, I'm going to listen to "Take Me to Church", or as I should call it, Drone-on the song done right.
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