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Tuesday 7 February 2017

Auditory Abominations: "Call on Me" - Eric Prydz


When I did my list of the top twenty worst music videos, I surprisingly found myself liking a couple of the songs on that list, with special mention to "Go West". Of course, there were plenty of songs I hated, but none were more unbearable than "Mr. Blobby", but honestly this came real close.

Dance songs are not the easiest for me to review, mostly because when you make a song specifically so people can dance to it, you don't put a lot of effort into the lyrics and more the beat, that is not saying you can't put lyrics in a dance song, it's what I love about Daft Punk so much, but I would love to think that the lyrics should at least make sense with the beat and tone of the song.

When I talked about this song on the top 20 worst music videos list, I said it made Buckcherry sound good, in truth I almost mistook Buckcherry for actual good music after listening to this.

The opening bit is like high pitched synth. It actually probably is high pitched synth, because it is just as annoying as it sounds. The vocals, and I use that term loosely because they sound as auto-tuned as the song, fade in and when they hit, nothing changes. At the very least Daft Punk changes the tempo and vocal delivery of their songs, like how in "Robot Rock", even though they are just saying the exact same two words the entire time, they never say it the exact same way the entire time, because that would have been monotonous, and that is a really monotonous word to spell, so many O's.

The drum beats pound in my ears like a sledgehammer, I can actually feel my ears throbbing with each consecutive beat, and this goes on for two minutes. I know that doesn't sound like a long time, but it feels much longer with how repetitious it is. Even Daft Punk's "Technologic" didn't feel like it lasted too long, because it to had speed and tempo changes, lyrical breaks and flowed very naturally. I'm sorry, I'd love to compare this song with even more dance songs, but all I can think of is Daft Punk.

Seriously, most of this song you can find in a Daft Punk song. The instrumentals, well you can get these really techno sounds from Discovery, especially in tracks like "One More Time" and "Harder Better Faster Stronger" or you can go with "Contact" one of my personal favourite Daft Punk songs. The repetitious lyrics were done better in songs like "Around the World" and "Robot Rock" and even then they still have better songs you can't even compare to this like "Da Funk", "Face to Face", "Derezzed" and "Digital Love", their songs set perfect moods for dancing.

Which brings me to the biggest problem with this song, for a dance song, I don't want to dance to it. I mean, compare this to a song like "Stamp on the Ground" which is not an amazing song, but a song that makes me want to dance, because it not only had an infectious chorus, the beat was not obnoxiously loud and the song flat-out demanded you stamp on the ground. This song, oh man, the beat makes me want to hack off my ears, the song is a very obnoxious ear-worm and the music video is so awkward that I want to scoop out my eyes with a melon baller.

I'm of the belief that a good dance song, should also work as a song on it's own right, but if not than it should demand you dance, you know "Stamp on the ground", "Everybody dance now", "Celebrate and dance so free" you know those are not suggestions, they are commands, and hot damn are those songs some of the best dance songs ever. This crap, it demands nothing, it makes me want to cover my ears and dancing to it feels like an after thought for me, and this is one of the best dance songs ever apparently.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and seriously speaking, the music video really is f**king awkward.

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