Auditory Abominations: "Everything I do (I Do it For You)" - Bryan Adams

Continuing on the theme of love songs that are not romantic in the very least, this song also allows me to explain why something being popular does not give it any form of quality. This was not just a number one of 1991, it was the number one of 1991, and this was the year that gave us Nevermind, Metallica, Blood Sugar Sex Magik, and Out of Time. 1991 was not a horrible year for music, in fact it may have been one of the best, but every year has its shovel ware.

Before I get into the big problem with this song, I want to discuss some of the minor issues with the song. Such as the horrible combination of the slow melody and Bryan Adam's voice which sounds as though he ate a sandpaper and staple salad with battery acid dressing. At the very least when other musicians that don't have the greatest voices sing, they sing in genres that compliment their vocals, Bob Dylan sang folk, Bruce Springsteen sang rock and Peter Cetera sang soft rock. When I compliment Peter Cetera, you know you've made an abomination.

Really the song at its core is a slow, dull song that tries to have dreamlike instrumentals and romantic lyrics, nothing I can fault the song over, except for one thing. Much like the previously reviewed "I Want to Know What Love is" by Foreigner, it is the fact that this was as successful as it was that makes it an abomination.

To put it into a perspective that I think some of you may understand, the fact that the song reached number one shows that people found this romantic, and those people have clearly never seen Casablanca.

"Everything I do I do it for you" is a meaningless statement, because the majority of people's life is doing something mundane, eating breakfast, reading a book, taking a walk, and they do all that mundane stuff that everybody does for you. I want people to remember that words like "Everything" and "All" are broad reaching terms, if I was to drink all the water on the planet, that would also mean that I would drink the polar ice caps, the clouds, the water in plants, the water in animals and the contaminated water in hazardous areas.

"Everything" does not mean the important stuff, or the noteworthy stuff, it means "Everything", meaning sneezing, being sick, calling his mother, watching TV, crying, doing his job, sitting in the dark, driving and all of that stuff is done for you. That is not romantic, that is obsession and an unhealthy one at that.

If somebody says they do everything for you and mean it, get them help because that is not a healthy thing. Somethings it is okay to do for other people, fighting, getting help, going to higher education you know things that can benefit other people. Saying you'll do everything for another person is almost as creepy and admitting to being a stalker.

This was the number one song of 1991, meaning that this proved empty, shallow, meaningless love songs had a place on the pop charts. It isn't the fact that the song is dull that makes it an abomination, but the fact that people thought it was romantic that makes it an abomination.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and don't forget, "Everything" is a broad-reaching word.