I hate this song, despise it, loathe it, with the passion of every god of war summoned forth to wage war against every god of death. I hate it that much.
The whole song can really just be summed up as, "Oh look a cute guy, here's my number, call me!" That's it, that is the extent of the lyrical content, but then again I also like songs with just as shallow if not shallower lyrics, I mean "Lights" by Ellie Goulding is just about her having a fear of the dark, "Animal" by Neon Trees is kind of a love song at a rave and John Cage's "4'33" is literally silence, it is a piece of post-modernism that gives those snobs that pay thousands of dollars for someone painting a goddamn line on paper to talk about.
However what sets those three songs apart is that they all had some good quality about them, "Lights" is a pretty fun dance song and Ellie Goulding has a good voice, and "Animal" is also a good party song that also has good instrumentals. "Call Me Maybe" has neither of these qualities, it is not a good dance number because it does not sound naturally energetic, and I might not be a big fan of Dubstep, but I can give it this, by design it sounds naturally energetic.
When I say "Naturally Energetic" I mostly mean if the music itself sounds like there is energy behind it, some pop songs like "Safe and Sound" and "One More Time" are not perfect songs, but they have a form of energy that makes them fun party songs, where as a song "Roar" or "Come and Get it" not only don't sound like that, but they also don't have a good beat to dance to. I mean, how are you supposed to dance and have fun to a song that sounds like if Daft Punk was a group of pre-teen girls? Actually I take that back because if Daft Punk was a duo of pre-teen girls, that would sound better than this. What I'm saying is, I like Daft Punk, a lot.
Of course annoyingly generic beat aside what is also important to a song is the singer, some songs that could've been amazing like pretty much anything off of "Surrealistic Pillow" by Jefferson Airplane have been ruined because of the singer and Carly here is not a good singer. I mean, I have heard even worse singers like Peter Cetera, Scott Stapp, Katy Perry etcetera, and yes Carly Rae doesn't make my top ten list of worst singers, but she does not do this song any favours.
You know what she reminds me of, one of those Katy Perry wannabes and I'll get to one of them later, I have a list. Yeah, when a singer reminds me of one of my most hated artists, that is not a good sign.
I can just stand barely over a minute and a half of this song, and it made me feel like I had a lobotomy with a Spork and a pair of chopsticks. The fact that this song is three minutes is torture, and it really makes me wish I was in the 1950s when pop music was on average two minutes in length.
This song is just fluff and no real substance, and fluff is fine but there has to be something to hold on to because fluff doesn't hold on it's own very well.
And to top of the blasphemy, I got into a comment war over somebody who said that Carly Rae was a better music artist than Rush, you know the band that put Canadian music on the map, that Rush. Well, at the very least I only have one more pop princess to deal with and...
What? Chicago is fronted by a man?
I'm the Entity of Darkness, and next time I'm posting an album review on my other blog.
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