Auditory Abominations: "She's a Beauty" - The Tubes

The 80s is a strange decade for music, for the rock and metal scene there is very little better than the 80s, giving us many masterpieces of rock and metal from "Master of Puppets" to "Tom Sawyer". This decade also gave us the Mainstream Rock Charts so now there was a way to keep track of the popular rock songs. This is where it gets weird, as on these charts, not every song that topped it was a rock song. I already talked about "We Built This City" and the dated keyboard dominated sound of the 1980s, but there was also "Down Under" and "Twilight Zone". In short, the 80s was an amazing decade for the rock and metal scene, but there was still a lot of crap, and here is another one.

The Tubes were a rock band that formed in the 1970s with their first single dropping in 1976 and they have been going steady since. Now I said rock band and for a while The Tubes were, but the 1980s was the decade of selling out, I mean a lot of bands pretty much gave up what they were and tried to become mainstream successes. The rock charts were impressive but AC/DC wasn't topping the charts, so a lot of it was that keyboard dominated rock. I guess a lot of it had to do with the success of synth pop at the time with Genesis and Eurythmics, and music always followed the popular styles, hence a lot of the pop-tronic music nowadays. Of course, I wasn't there so I can't say I'm an expert, but I do have a good idea.

So I can't really blame the band, this was just the soundscape of the time, and for opening instrumentals, I have heard much worse. The synth is a little annoying, but the drums and guitar aren't bad. The opening vocals aren't terrible either.

So if I think that the instruments and vocals aren't bad, why is this song an auditory abomination? Mostly it's the lyrics, they're just confusing. I mean, they say that the women you see are from your dreams, but you shouldn't fall in love with them. Is this song a cautionary tune about giving your heart up to fast? Well, at one point the lead singer says "Don't touch the merchandise" so is this about a brothel? Is the song trying to give confidence to a kid? I have no clue what these lyrics say, if it is a song about not giving your heart away too quickly, than it's basically saying, don't fall in love with that pretty woman there because she is a beauty.

I don't get the point of this song, nor why it was a hit on the rock charts. It really does show that even with some good aspects, one bad apple spoils the whole patch. even if the lyrics weren't confusing I think the song would still be a bit dated, but I wouldn't be talking about it then. I try not to review songs that are only outdated, because they really do require me to have been there for me to really consider it. I'd say this and "We Built This City" came close to breaking that rule.

I'm the Entity of Darkness and I think I need to pick a more interesting level of bad next time.

Ace Audio: "The Show Must Go On" - Queen

Ace Audio is a series where I look at songs that I don't think get enough appreciation, or analyze songs that I think are well loved, so I try to avoid well loved songs like "Stairway to Heaven" or "Run to the Hills". Although, there may be a case or two where I break my rule, I may not do it often but I will occasionally, like now.

Queen needs no introduction, if you don't know Queen you don't know music proper. They are one of the greatest, if not the greatest band who has ever performed with many amazing songs under their belt. Many of their songs are some of the greatest of all time from "Bohemian Rhapsody" to "Radio Gaga" and many more. I decided to go with this song because I really want to emphasise how important the song was to the band and to their fans.

The song is basically about Freddie Mercury and his continuous singing for the band despite his failing health. It was one of the last songs released before his death in 1991. To this, the song itself highly compliments this by having a very symphonic feel to it all, kind of like the end of an opera. It gives the song a very triumphant sound, as if saying this is not the end.

Even though at this point he was terminally ill, Freddie still kills it on the vocals. This is a testament to how amazing of a vocalist Freddie Mercury was, as he still has all that power and range even when dying. This is why Freddie is recognized as the greatest singer in music, because even though others had the range like Ray Charles, and others had the power like Screamin' Jay Hawkins, very few had both, and none to such an impressive degree.

The rest of the band does an awesome job as well, Roger Taylor especially kills it with those drums and John Deacon plays an awesome bass. However, it's Brian May that steals the show when it comes to the instrumentals with his precise guitar playing, it really does add to the whole rock orchestra feel of the song.

When we talk about the best of Queen, yes "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "We Are the Champions" are always going to be in our hearts, but "The Show Must Go On" is a testament to the band as a whole. Sure, this could've been entirely Freddie's doing, and his ultimate final song, but no, this was a whole band effort and they did not pull out any stops.

The song sounds incredible and it was the perfect track to end on. It may be, objectively speaking, the best Queen song ever. It was the bands ultimate song and it gave the fans Freddie's ultimate vocal performance. It is a very important song to all Queen fans.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and the show...

It must go on!