Auditory Abominations: "Bawitdaba" - Kid Rock

I am digging up the oddest things this time around aren't I? Seriously, what kind of song is named after nonsense? ...Does "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" need to be acquainted with this? ...That's what I thought.

So anyway, Kid Rock, or as he introduces himself KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID KID ROCK! yeah, what a strange creation he is, a redneck rockstar cowboy pimp rapper, or at least that is what he likes to parade himself around as. I don't really have a whole lot of thoughts on Kid Rock, I try to avoid listening to music I don't like whenever possible, but this proves that I can't avoid everything forever, so here we go. I'm going with this song because it was the first song on the album that made him big, so why not?

For some reason, this song begins with build-up, or maybe it's just the video. Yeah, thing about YouTube again is, sometimes you get "bonuses" for selecting a video, like an actual music video that plays like a mini movie or something like what Weezer did with "Buddy Holly", the fact that I just mentioned a Disney song and a Weezer song within three paragraphs of a Kid Rock review is sad.

Anyway, the song actually begins with Kid Rock introducing himself as, that up there ^ and giving us the only part of the song we will remember. I can't believe I'm doing this, but I looked up the lyrics to this song, crazy I know. Yeah, the opening lyrics we are given pretty much nonsense, "Bawtidaba da bang, da bang diggy diggy diggy/ Diggy, shake the boogie, said up jump the boogie".
Yeah, that is uh, a group of lyrics or something, but oh well, let's see the actual song.

"And this is for the questions that don't have an answer/The midnight glancers, and the topless dancers/The can of freaks, cars packed with speakers/The G's with the forty's and the chicks with beepers".

Alright, maybe I'm missing something, but so far it sounds as though this is both a shout out track and a call out track. A shout out track is basically a song that is a shout out to someone or a group of people usually people who inspired the writer or artist, a call out track is essentially the opposite of that. Hold on, let's go to the glorious interwebs to find what this song is actually about, I'm am researching deep meaning of a Kid Rock song, what has my life become?

Okay, this is apparently a Mosh Pit anthem. Yeah, you know forget the glorious "Ten thousand Fists" this is all you need to get into a mosh pit. Especially one with topless moshers, oh wait shirtless dudes, right. Unless he actually meant strippers, I'm confused again.

Yeah, if this is supposed to be a mosh pit anthem, then the first group of lyrics are basically just shout outs to hookers and meth. So, you know, it has that going for it?

We get another chorus, and seriously, if you want your chorus to be nonsense, at least have your nonsense make some kind of sense. I get that "Bawitdaba" somehow gets people pumped, but then again so does "Break Stuff" and we all know how well that song works. Seriously, what does "Bawitdaba" supposed to even be? "Bawitdaba da bang da bang diggy diggy diggy/Shake the boogie said up jump the boogie"?

We get one more lyrical group of call outs or shout outs (honestly I don't know which), and apparently D.B. Cooper is in the crowd. Either that or he just had to write in one infamous criminal and Charles Manson just wasn't iconic enough.

After this, we get an okay instrumental solo. It has the guitar just being played and it doesn't sound awful, even the snippets of the other instruments being played sound okay. This should have been the opening, not the cheap build-up crap. It is however, ruined by one thing, a stupid vocal sample being played over it, it is under the instrumentals, but it is kind of annoying. Then we get one final chorus, and I'm suddenly realizing that I wasted three minutes on a Kid Rock song.

Yeah, this isn't the worst song I covered, but I do think it's one of the worst. It's just lyrical trite, I don't even think anybody was sober when it was written. Honestly, everything else about the track is alright, the instrumentals and vocals work, but the lyrics are this songs biggest failure. And what even is "Bawtidaba" supposed to even mean? I've said nonsense and made-up words but I at least prescribed meaning to them.

Really though, there is just one thing I can say about this song that sums up all of my thoughts.

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and next time I don't think I'll have to use so many more pictures.

Auditory Abominations: "Crush 'Em" - Megadeth

Like I said, this review will be a Megadeth song, not just because I want to discuss this song, but also the comparison to Metallica they get. Honestly, I don't think either band is really better, because although Metallica doesn't hit the highs of Megadeth's "Symphony of Destruction", Megadeth doesn't really hit the lows of Metallica's "St. Anger", although I would think this song comes close.

The problem with "St. Anger" was mostly Lars Ulrich's drumming and the lyrics that made very little sense, if any at all. However, I can say this about "St. Anger"; even though it was a terrible song, it still sounded like Metallica. That is the first problem with "Crush 'Em", it doesn't sound like a Megadeth song.

The opening sounds pretty close to something like a song The Police would do, and when the song does pick up, it doesn't really have a whole lot of energy to it. I mean, compare this song to a Megadeth song like "Peace Sells" or "Tornado of Souls" which have awesome guitar solos and sound way better than this, because they don't sound restrained, giving them a natural sense of energy.

Thankfully the Lyrics aren't a big problem, they're just kind of generic anthem lyrics, right down to the most basic of choruses. Seriously, was "Roll the dice, Don't think twice/and we crush, crush 'em" really the best chorus you could write? From the band that gave us "Just like the Pied Piper lead rats through the streets" and "if there's a new way, I'll be first in line/but it better work this time" comes "And we Crush, Crush 'Em".

When people talk about the worst of the big four, they usually only talk about "St. Anger" and I can see why as I do think it is a worse song, but I still think that this is one of the worst Heavy Metal songs of all time, mostly because it sounds so watered down and dull.

I will say that the instrumentals did not annoy me like "St. Anger" did, but they didn't add a whole lot to the song, again from the group that gave us "Tornado of Souls" and "Holy Wars... The Punishment Due" we got this generic, boring schlock.

This was intended to be a sporting anthem, but honestly there are so many better songs that can be and are used as sports anthems that this kind of falls into the background. I get the idea and even the audience, but it has to be good for other people as well, which by the way is often why religious music doesn't work either, because it only really works for people of that religion.

I can't say that this was one of the worst songs I have ever heard, I can honestly say that it is not in my personal top 10, but I still think that this is the worst Megadeth has to offer, but hey, we still got "Peace Sells" right?

I'm the Entity of Darkness and speaking of religious music and heavy metal, oh yeah, I looking at them again.